It feels like exams are over and it certainly feels good, but THEY ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!
yesterday I had 6 hours of uninterupted sleep, I think I was like a log on my bed (yes, no longer on the chair), switched off 1 of the alarms I didn't hear the other 2 at all. Woke up on my own for breakfast (yay, mom bought chunky peanut butter!), read newspapers, went back to my room, get changed and flip through my desesrt cookbook (haha, feel like making some desserts..) then going out for a run. Other than the bad air along the roads and the foul smell from the drain, it was a great run!! comfortable pace, fantastic weather, and a new route. Then went to the gym at my house for a bit of arms workout, then went back home to play with my lovely little gym ball. Wow, what a fruitful morning, and it was only 10 plus when I finished my morning workout. Really feels like holiday. Ok, the only useful thing I did today was to print out all my lecture notes. That's it. And I spent the afternoon sleeping again. Don't call me a pig, cos it's a rare opportunity for me to get so much rest. There was yet another article today on the how obesity and lack of sleep is closely related, so many it's good to sleep. But what's te physiological reason behind it? hmm, maybe it'll be my job to find out..
The marathon is next week!! wow, really fast, I think the time when I registered for it, I was still telling myself it's a long way more to the actual day, and now it's almost here!! I can't really say I've trained and is well-prepared for it. I have been constantly running, but I don't take it as proper training, more like leisure jogger. I am quite sure I can finish the run, and the more I run, the more stress there is to break my own record. It's no longer a matter of completing the race, but of doing it better than what I did last year.
I'm totally not in the mood to study anymore..
5 days to last paper,
8 days to marathon,
12 days to taiwan,
30 days to christmas,
36 days to 2007,
43 days to new school term...
the coming holiday will be short, but fruitful...

I think I survive better with less sleep. Can't believe that I concussed after dinner, woke up at 1 plus in the morning, wanted to hug some buddha legs, but fell asleep, yes on the chair again, and so I was in and out of dreamland for the whole night and clocked almost 8 hours of sleep, and that's almost double of my usual sleeptime at night. But the problem is I am feeling more tired than usual, my head feels heavy and saturated, and my eyes feel like they can close anytime. This is definitely not a good sign. And I do know how to multitask effectively, that is, study and exercise at the same time. I think that's the only way I can survive 1 whole hour on cardio machines in the gym besides watching tv and gymming.
As I get older, my memory gets worse... I need some brains...

who says scientists don't have a sense of humour (or rather lameness)
taken from the newsletter 'Fun Science' (a production from Science Centre and A*Star for primary school kids)
Here goes some whacky riddles:
Q1: what sea animal can be adjusted to play music?
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A: the tune-a fish!
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Q2: Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
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A: they have their own scales
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I like the next one (maybe can tell my mom too who keeps feeding me fish nowadays)
Q3: why are fish so smart?
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A: because they live in schools...
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Ok, that's it for lunchtime entertainment.. speaking of schools, my sister just went for her P1 orientation this morning and came back with lots of books and other barang barang. Girl, you're finally going to school!!!

Exam period = more blogging, more staying at home, higher electricity bill, more food, more fats, less exercise, less sleep, lower handphone bill, less spendings
I really hope my puny little laptop won't get overheated and get burnt cos it's been giving out hot air almost 24 hours a day.
Alright, seems like today is not the day to exercise. Firstly I have lots to read and trying to understand for anatomy (not to say revise cos I just printed out the notes for some), then it rained, then when I finally could not take the guilt of pigging and bumming around at home for the whole day yesterday, I overcome the inertia, got changed and dragged myself out of the house for some sweat and sun (yes, the sun came out after a passing shower which lasted for less than 10 minutes). In need for some speed and strength, I happily planned my exercise routine for a 2.4km run and some gym exercise. And so I jogged to the track, and it was closed (damn, should have taken notice of the change in opening hours to public), so the disappointed me jogged back to do some gym and the only pathetic little all-in-one machine was fully occupied by 3 fat guys who were having a picnic there - sitting on the benches sms-ing and beside them on the floor was a carton of soya milk and kinder beuno. Hello, you don't own the gym!! And so I went home and played with my little dumbell and gym ball.
Can SCF decide whether marathon is on 27th Jan (Saturday) or 28th Jan (Sunday). No calendar in this world says 27th Jan 2007 is a Sunday...
Ok enough of my rambling, back to the notes and powerpoint slides (I'm not even using my $45 textbook which is selling at $57 in NTU anymore)

I don't normally kope stuff.. but here it goes...

Once upon a time, there was a blind girl.
She hated the world and everybody else, except for her loving boyfriend who was always there for her.
One day, she said to her boyfriend "If only I could see the world... I'll definitely marry you"!
Soon after, someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
And then... she could see everything!
Her boyfriend then asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me"?
The girl was shocked to realize that her boyfriend, just like her, was another pathetic blind soul.
And so she heartlessly rejected him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying
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"Just take care of my eyes, my dear"

Monday was my second visit to the Novena Square gym and I finally tried the tai-tai machine. Oh man, it is one of the best inventions!! It's like an elliptical machine, those that you put one foot on one piece of footrest that can move, but instead of moving forward and backwards, it goes from side to side. I think it's one of the few machines that can tone the inner thigh. And if you think it's boring and easy, you're wrong!! doing it intensively actually burns more than 800kcal per hour, and doing it leisurely really feels like dancing, especially with the remix they were playing.
And it certainly felt weird studying the reproductive system in public. I was trying my best to cover those explicit photos and diagrams in textbook and hoping no one was staring at me. Oh well, if you think it was the most interesting topic in O level biology or something, think twice when you have a few pages of text explaining the hormonal change bla bla bla. Alright, at least it's over... and now I shall bury my head in the sea of names of bones, muscles, joints, nerves etc etc...

You Are Tofu

Okay, so you aren't exactly meat. And that's fine with you. Even if people think you're a bit bland.There's a good chance you're veg - and even if you aren't, you secretly think meat is gross.

What Kind of Meat Are You?

work can be more fulfilling and interesting than I would imagine. And people always say "don't just complain, give solutions". Now when people writes in a complaint letter, trying to sound intellectual by using as many traditional chinese characters as she knows, together with a whole bunch of wrongly written words, and providing solution, literally in that little envelope, you don't know whether to cry or laugh. We were all so amused.. but since blogger is public, I shall not explain any details in case I really get into trouble.
And I've just added a new expensive item to my collection.










pretty right??? now i only lack the $50 note of the ship series... anyone willing to exchange??

It's officially the last day of lessons of year 2 sem 1. Fast isn't it? Before I know it the exams will be over, holidays will be here and then over, and it will be the start of a new semester. It was quite a busy day to end of the semester. Lessons as usual, and extra lessons to make up for tomorrow, but anything beats going back to school on saturday. I'm lazy to write so let the photos do the talking.










It's a bit small, but these are the guinea pigs of BMS/TCM. And these are the people I see everyday, confined to our own favourite corners of SBS CR7.
Maybe we should be glad the school decided to get rid of some flying creatures before exam starts, but it's quite a sight to see all of them dead on the floor. countless.











yes, the ground was littered with bees. yucks











there you go, the bunch of noisy people always in the middle of the classroom.

From now on, I'll find myself confined to my cosy corner in my room, imagine that my freedom of motion space is only enough for my chair to turn, facing the window, laptop's on my left, table's in front of me, cupboard, hi-fi, food, and rubbish on my right, and bed behind me. Hard to imagine? let the photo exlain itself.











Now you believe me when I say my room is puny??
haha

And so there was another news to spoil my day. Seems like we're not going Australia this december anymore. And I thought for once my dad could plan something really in advance. He did, we booked the resort everything long ago, but now there's the big problem of no air tickets. And because we thought the air tickets sold during the travel fair was over-priced, the only available tickets now are at $4k++. Thanks ar, I don't print money!!! Oh well, just hope we can get tickets to somewhere else and give me something to look forward to.
It's officially down to one week before it starts, the exams, what else? Preparation remains at minimal. I hate it everyday when I had to drag myself to school and force myself awake to absorb as much as possible from my lao shi who talks sooooooo fast. Alright, I'm not going to complain about exams cos I don't have a choice..
Oh well, we learn new things everyday and I just found out a few days ago that vegetarians don't eat onion or garlic. So that's my great discovery when the vegetarian stall cooks all their vege with ginger. yucks. I hate ginger. So much of calling myself a vegetarian.. haha but actually I don't think I'm the only one who doesn't know..

Who says I can't be domesticated? I've proved myself capable of being a housewife yesterday by taking the job of a babysitter. Who else but my dearest little sister. I brought that little girl swimming, COOKED dinner for her, taught her to play piano before finally throwing her in front of the television. Gosh, it has really been ages since I last cooked a proper meal, though I only cooked something as simple as noodles yesterday. The end product was not bad, and that is all that matters. Tasted just like my mom's cooking, but then again, how wrong can it go? The process was another story. Should have seen my confused look when I can't decide which ingredient to go in first, how long to cook it for, how much salt to add, and the impatience of lifting the cover from time to time wondering when will it ever boil. AND I HATE CLEARING UP!!
And yesterday I didn't fall asleep in class at all, finally proved my laoshi wrong that I sleep everyday. I thought she would call me to answer questions but she didn't. Maybe she's just waiting for the right time to catch me red-handed.
It's the time of the year again for me to get whiny. Yes, so many things to study and so little time. Don't I complain about that before every exam. But so what if I were given more time, knowing myself best, I will still leave everything to the last minute. It's no use panicking if I'm not going to do anything about it.. so STOP WASTING TIME!!

The sunday paddler went paddling today. I still love k2.

SKGN in action again at lunch today. and something very interesting happened.
As we sat in the canteen and just started eating, our prof came and joined in and the first thing she said when she looked at me: I see you sleeping in class everyday.
Oh great! damn!! I think from today onwards she'll be calling me to answer questions everyday to prevent me from sleeping. How nice.
Yes, I'm been indecisive again. Should I or shouldn't I? It'll be quite fun to do it, but I don't think I'm up to it.
Well, oh well.........

taking a breather, taking a break, i finally found myself out of this constrained little city. The one-day Batam retreat simply put, was a shopping madness adventure.
Left home early in the morning to catch the 8am ferry to Batam, where the shopaholic was about to start on her mission. Did some typical touristy stuff, like visit touristy shops where things were going for so expensive, had quite a sumptuous seafood lunch followed by a cultural performance. It was short, but good. What's more interesting is the shocked expressions on some of our faces, watching in disbelief how they could eat burning charcoal, and munch on glasss as if it was a cookie.
And then came one whole afternoon of shopping. Quite a fruitful one. Went back with bags and bags worth of goodies. Well, the best part is not having to spend my own money. I think that's the only good thing about shopping with moms. mobile atm.
I remember the last time I went batam was when i was in primany school. Maybe it's because we visited a different part of the island this time, but the feeling is totally different.









we were tourists at the shopping mall











hmmmmm... yummy yummy

so much of the retreat, I still have to come back to reality.. sigh... can't wait to my holidays..

staying on the 25th floor gave me the privilege of a nice scenic view.











now this is what happens when the haze came... and that was on a psi moderate day..
sad isn't it?
It has been a hardworking weekend for me, not in terms of studying, but working. 6 hours on friday, 7 hours on saturday and 5 hours on sunday. Not that i'm complaining when I do make money from working. In fact, I had a real sunday yesterday. Went jogging and paddling in the morning, went home, bathe, eat, sleep, go for work. Isn't that how sunday is suppose to be like?

And there was yet another case of suicide by jumping down the MRT platform. Has it really become the coolest way to die? Or do these people just want to make their death so widely publicized? Reading the report on the guy's family is really saddening. Living in this generally affluent society, it is hard to imagine there are still people so poor they have no money for transport to claim the bodies of their family member. Although I do take pity on the family, I still think it was very irresponsible and selfish of him. So many people had to be affected just because of his one moment of "courage" or stupidity, there are so many ways to die a impactful death, why must one choose the disruptive way?
Ok, I do admit that the thought of committing suicide ever crossed my mind, but I would never do that, because I don't have the courage to. I don't have the courage to forgo the future that may be so beautiful; I don't have the courage to take that step and torture myself; but most importantly, I don't have the courage to let my loved ones suffer because of me. Ok, I think I still love myself to a certain extent...

Sports appreciation night followed by a sumptuous dinner today. I think the highlight remains in the food. A wide spread of meat and pastries, salad and they even had a chocolate fondue. Ok, I think that's not the main point of the whole event. Certificates were given out, videos and speeches were given. Speaking on the topic of sports, I'm starting to wonder what's the definition of sport. This is what is given by wikipedia: A sport is an activity requiring physical ability, physical fitness or physical skill which usually, but not always, involves competition between two or more people.
Seems like sports is getting more and more political. Sports is no longer a mere physical activity which one can enjoy, it has everything to do with money, funding, elitism, and all those illegal and ugly means of pushing performance to a higher level. I do agree that it is competition that motivates people to aim for a greater height and to challenge what was thought to be the impossible, but what about more important aspects in sports such as sportsmanship? if SPIRIT represents Sportsmanship, Perserverance, Integrity, Respect, I(i forgot this) and Teamwork, I think sports is gradually losing this spirit. Sad isn't it?
Ok that was food for thought, it's 3am, time to sleep...

one night of running and a whole week to recover. gosh, facts have proven that my body is certainly aging. Today I finally put on my running shoes, overcame the power of inertia and went out for a run despite the bad weather. It felt good to get moving again, 3 days of not running and i'm starting to feel the withdrawal symptoms. Try running, it's the best way to destress, healthiest way also, as compared to eating.









That's us after the run. See the shagged faces?
I seriously need an external hard drive to keep all the photos, and ink cartridges are not cheap at all, especially when your dad printed a million of photos using the printer and when it finally runs out of ink, he happily says "orh go buy it yourself lor" maybe i should print notes in shcool instead.
Running makes you tired.. think I should sleep soon...

Am I not suppose to use the word, since it will be against my future job scope? But that is how I feel. Died. Yes, everything in me has died. The passion, the believe I used to hold so strongly, the determination and focus, everything.
I want to escape from reality again and go back to the good old times. The times when I could excel in what I loved to do, when I had more self-control and motivation, the times of innocent and sweet love.
Ok, it's just me getting into my depressed self again. It's the time of the year... haha. Sorry if I am not behaving like myself or neglecting people around me. Feels like I just want to spend time by myself, reflecting upon the things that happened and I have done.
我真的想回到过去，过着那单纯的生活，我讨厌镜子里的自己，我向往以前的我。但我也知道这一切是不可能的了，过去的美好时光，如今已是只能回味的往事。我害怕找不回那种感觉，害怕失去你。。。

Am I not suppose to use the word, since it will be against my future job scope? But that is how I feel. Died. Yes, everything in me has died. The passion, the believe I used to hold so strongly, the determination and focus, everything.
I want to escape from reality again and go back to the good old times. The times when I could excel in what I loved to do, when I had more self-control and motivation, the times of innocent and sweet love.
Ok, it's just me getting into my depressed self again. It's the time of the year... haha. Sorry if I am not behaving like myself or neglecting people around me. Feels like I just want to spend time by myself, reflecting upon the things that happened and I have done.
我真的想回到过去，过着那单纯的生活，我讨厌镜子里的自己，我向往以前的我。但我也知道这一切是不可能的了，过去的美好时光，如今已是只能回味的往事。我害怕找不回那种感觉，害怕失去你。。。

running 2.4km sounded easy. 1 hour rest time sounded like a lot. but when you put them together in a duration of 12 hours, you get 9 x 2.4 which is more than 20km and almost no sleep at all. i am still appalled by the fact that we actually did 2.4km intervals through the night. it is certainly one of the crazy things i did this year. from the initial energized and enthusiastic runs, or rather sprints, to the gradually slower runs and the reluctant departure from the comfortable sleeping position, which is none other than lying on the ground outside the rooms so unglamorously, and finally the last few rounds which was almost impossible to carry ourselves up the slope. but i must say it was certainly an experience of a lifetime. although we missed the chance of getting the prize money, it was an excellent training for standard chartered marathon and a night to remember. my legs are aching now..

and so I did, one whole afternoon at lwn, indulging in the best things in life - books and notes. What a torture to look at pages of "ants" sprawled all over the paper and trying to memorize phrases and sentences which totally makes no sense in today's context. I think the headache from trying to memorize is much worse than the haze outside. I think my memory is certainly failing me, so much of not using them.. serves me right
alrights, something interesting stuff for the day..










see the thing picked up using chopstick? it's a worm found in Can A ban mian. So next time look before you eat if you don't want added protein..

it has been more than 2 months since i last blogged and now i'm counting down to the days of exam and holidays. As for now, I must heave a sigh of relief that BMS203 is over and both my lab report and assignment have been handed in. So for now my only worries would be exam, yes very big worries. Even with the pressure of the warning letter and the almost impossible GPA to meet, I have no motivation to study at all. I know I should stop complaining since it was my choice to take up this course, but I absolutely abhor BMS202! Worse subject that I've ever seen!! Alright enough, start memorizing and stop whining!
On a lighter note first, this year I had the best birthday surprise ever. On the actual day of me entering my 20s, my mummy gave me a huge box of rocher and my dear little sister also gave me chocolate and played me a birthday song. I was almost melted by her sweetness. Ok sis, I shall be nice to you for the time being until you start being your usual demanding self again. But nothing beats THE SURPRISE you planned for me after sava first day. I really jumped and screamed in shock when I opened the door walked in and heard a "SURPRISE!!" from the goup of crazy friends. It left me in shock for the rest of the night. But it was soooo sweet of you!! I feel so blessed and loved!!! muackz... haha ok, I'm so guilible, easily pleased and innocent, right?

Well, of course there was sava sprint. Cannot say that it was the best of our dragonboat races, due to the lack of trainings and to a certain extent our complacency, but I must say it was vertainly an eye-opener to see the Philippines team race. Their frequency was madness!! wonder where they get all the energy from. And I won my second medal as the drummer. The aggression was more than anything. With every determination to pull away, to win, be it for the school, for themselves, for havaianas, or whatever reason. It was sure inspiring to be on the boat, seeing the guys grit their teeth and plunge their paddles into the water, tensing up every muscle and pulling the water hard, screaming, shouting and finally pulling away from the boat that was thought to be impossible to beat, but they did it. The sense of achievemnt, knowing that they had done it, written on their faces after crossing the finishing line was unmistakable. I think i will let the feeling stay there, paused. It sure is exciting to see your team win a race, but the feeling of watching and actually rowing and earning it is definitely different. No havaianas for us, but somethings gained which cannot be bought.

Alright, end of season, time to study. Help!! I need the motivation, I need the strength..
I'm scared..

'most dreams die a slow death. they're conceived in a moment of passion, with the prospect of endless possibility, but often languish and are not pursued with the same heartfelt intensity as when first born. slowly, subtly, a dream becomes elusive and ephemeral. people who've let their own dreams die become pessimists and cynics. they feel that the time and devotion spent on chasing their dreams were wasted. the emotional scars last forever. "it can't be done," they'll say, when you describe your dream, "you'll never make it."'
- ultramarathon man by dean karnazes

once upon a time, i dreamt about living in a beautiful big palace having everything i wanted. then i dreamt about living in the moon. as i grew older, i dreamt about being the best in what i do, i dreamt about being the top student, being a president scholar, marrying the guy who will become the president and live my whole life in luxury. then i dreamt about being the singapore's fastest canoeist, smartest and prettiest girl.
yes i was greedy, i was insane and i thought i could do it.
but look at me now, i am nowhere near any of these dreams. people always say we must have big dreams and aim high, but now i choose to be realistic. yes, no more of that supergirl who could do everything. sometimes i look back a wonder, what is the purpose of life. my dad asked me that one morning and i told him, i want to be happy with whatever i do. he shook his head and immediately replied, i'm so disappointed with you, not even planning ahead and only aiming for such simple goals in life. i know you want me to be your pride and i think i've already done enough, i'm sick and tired of hearing what i should be doing and achieving. it's not that i don't want, it's that i really can't do it anymore.
sometimes i really ponder about this question: is it worth it? for all the time and effort i've put in, all the sacrifices and at the end of the day no spectacular results. perhaps i really shouldn't have even started. girl, it's time to take a break, go breathe the fresh air, let loose and just follow your heart.
please, let it go....
(i'm super sleepy now.. to be continued when i've time)

so it was 3 months of intensive insane training for the 2 days of proving ourselves and now it's over. results were quite expected and the winners really deserve what they should. i believe we have already done our very best, set our new personal best timings, even if it wasn't good enough to get us a gold medal. we rowed our race, put our heart and soul in it, started, burst, ended knowing that it was the best we could give. i don't know how to describe this feeling, on one hand, i am happy for clocking my best timing, on the other hand, there is still this unfulfilled desire to get what is the best.
i remember when year 1 sem 1 started, i got a phone call from our dear lesley asking me to go down for training, half-heartedly, i went, thinking that i would probably use it as a chance to get some exercise and to see how the trainings are like. but i stayed on, i don't know why. maybe it's the hope of achieving something for the school, to do a bit of what i can. then there was round ubin, mr500, sdbf and now ncc.
i remember the last day of exams marked the first day of our full time training. it was madness indeed, when others are enjoying their holidays, working and earning money, we spent almost everyday in macritchie, soaking up the sun, devoting our whole holidays to canoeing. the crazy mileages we did, almost 30km a day of paddling, spending half the day in the water and the other half eating or chilling out with one another's company, crazy stuff we did, many food we ate. then came the first month anniversary, then higher intensity training, then a big headache deciding the line up, freezing our brains with icecream while thinking and only finalising it last minute.
tonight was fun. chilling out at brewerkz, stuffing our face with food and beer and games of indian poker, marking the end of this season. tomorrow will mark the start of 7-day long sports camp. after that it would be one week of break and finally school will start again. i must say luckily ncc is near the end of holidays, if not i really don't know what to do after that.
round ubin follows, which means training is not going to stop. should i be glad or should i be sad? part of me wanted to bid goodbye to canoeing a long time ago, but the other half me can't bear to leave the fun we had, the times we spent together...
i'm back to the state of confusion again.... someone help.....
ok someone please give me some photos to post up... really tired now

it's been a long time since i last blogged.. so just a quick update of things that happened while i was busy or rather just lazy blogging..
SDBF was an exciting weekend especially sunday's PM cup, ntu managed to get back the PM cup trophy with just a less than 0.2 second difference. I used to dislike dragon boat, cos it's tiring and makes you ache on one side, but after that weekend's races, i've seen what's called a real fight to the end, refusal to give up and giving it your all, as if there's no tomorrow. as for our mixed boat, i dare say we have no regrets when we left bedok, though we missed the gold by just that millisecond, but we were close to impossibility. and it was my first "men's open" medal, haha. drumming is fun...
then there's crasy nights spent watching world cup, sy's birthday party that we all went so crazy, so high and did lots of stupid things, really lots of stupid things. not forgetting pigging out, dimsum buffet, oh man, we love food.
then there's senior's camp, 3 hours of sleep in total and everyone completely concussed when they got home. i slept from 7pm till around midnight when i was so glad i managed to wake up to catch the world cup finals, but i still fell asleep after halftime.
primary school registration for my dearest little girl yesterday was quite a breeze, though i spent 15 minutes finding the gate, she officially accepted to nyps yay.. didn't know nyps was so hot on demand. lucky girl to have a sister like me..
A div nationals today, must say i feel quite old and out of touch with the juniors, but results were quite expected and now the big challenge is ncc. i still can't believe it's only next weekend, scared? excited? i don't know.. i think i haven't got into the competition mood yet..
totally out of point here, but girl wake up, don't do this, you can't do this, mind, please win your heart.. this should not and must not happen. noooooo....

great singapore sale is on and the shopaholic in me is on the loose. last week i finally got a taste of my anticipated holiday tai-tai lifestyle. on the first day of GSS, after a carbo-packed lunch with the ntu canoeists at cafe cartel for energy, the time has come to shop. the set lunch at cartel wasn't that appetizing but bread was nevertheless, bread was good. i think they should seriously employ more waiters and station some of them permanently cutting up bread and serving.












that's us at cartel and sophie trying eat that gigantic burger of hers













the shopaholic was well prepared. i dumped all my stuff in the gym and even brought a small bag which i can carry with me whilst shopping. after joining the fun of shopping on the first day of GSS, the tai tai wannabe went for a relaxing yoga class before meeting up with the rj canoeists for dinner at lemongrass and the usual swensons dessert followed, which we could never get sick of. it's been a long time since we met up. everyone looks more or less the same and lyd's got her gigantic hair done again.














that's us at swensons.










with lydia and her big curly hair and fengyi and her google tanline.


we love desserts but nothing beats the marche desserts which got devoured in less than 10 seconds by very hungry and greedy people after the southern island expedition. and how can we forget carol's waffle with extra bananas after sdba. and cake binging at secret recipe not too long ago







does this sinful picture look familiar?


that's the end of day one of tai-tai life. on the second day of GSS, the shopaholic is out to shop again before making our way to indoor stadium for grease. it was great watching them sing and dance on stage and made me wonder don't they get tired jumping around so many days in a row?
i'm totally love food and am looking forward to tomorrow's buffet at ikoi. sometimes i think i train so that i can eat all i want and not feel too guilty. ok i just had lunch about 2 hours ago and i'm feeling hungry already especially when my mom and sis are just in the kitchen making dumplings for dragon boat festival tomorrow.

it has been at least 2 or 3 weeks without my weekly long, therapeutic run, and by long i mean at least an hour. and why are the runs getting more and more expensive each year. AHM is 18 bucks and real run is 25 bucks. i don't remember paying so much last year. now i'm contemplating whether to sign up for real run. i'm just hoping that standard chartered marathon's registration fees won't increase anymore. it's already so expensive and they have lots of sponsors. oh yes and to all those girls who like running. there's a shape run coming up in july. eh it's literally free cos it comes with a half year subscription. i think those who hate running must be wondering why people are willing to pay so much just to run when you can do it absolutely for free. well, it's just nice to run.

i realised i should never made resolutions and swear that i'll keep to them because they never happened. first was to sleep before 11 everyday but look at the time now and i've been sleeping around this time for the past few days and waking up early. second was to refrain from eating chocolates, but seems like i've been eating chocolate bars everyday and i don't know if it's psychological or it's really the sugar rush, but training feels better after eating chocolates. well, at least there's something for me to be proud of, and that is i haven't drank coffee at all since the end of exams.
it's already a month into the holidays and i don't know if i should be glad or sad.. glad because i don't have to touch books anymore for these 3 months at least, and that to me is a huge relief. sad because i can't realise all my holiday plans. isn't it strange how you badly look forward to something and when you actually get it, the feeling of excitement/euphoria doesn't seem to exist. maybe it's just me, but i was so impatiently looking forward to the end of exams but after my last paper, it wasn't the expected feeling of happiness and relief. instead, i felt numb/lost and tired, very lethargic/exhausted, as if i just wanted to go home and have a good rest. in fact, i think i had more fun planning for my holidays than living it. i planned to be a good sister, to send my little sis to kindergarten and back everyday, teach her stuff in preparation for school, go swimming with her, doing a fun job and making some money while having fun, like working in an ice cream shop, spend my free time sun tanning, jogging, canoeing for the fun of it, gymming and attending classes like yoga, and how can i possibly forget shopping, ktv-ing, travelling, sleeping, there's so much things to do and it felt like there was so much time to do it.
and now i have to squeeze everything into the days when i'm free. majority of my time comprises of training, not that i hate it, but it does gets boring at times. sometimes i'm in the mood to really focus on training and strokes etc, but sometimes i'm just so sick and tired of it. on the last lunch in JB during the retreat, when jr was talking about why he doesn't want to try out for national team again and he said this phrase which really struck me: once you're out of it, you can never get it back again.
is it true? i've been pondering over it. perhaps. i remember lifting freaking heavy weights in that little weights room, running intervals like mad on the track, doing pull-ups like nobody's business, paddling my heart out at kallang river. and now? i don't know... i came back from sibu and tried a 2.4 just to see how's my running now and it was very disappointing, can't even sub 12 for 2.4 when i used to be able to do that for intervals of 2x2.4. after that i struggled to get my chin above the pull-up bar, which used to be no-kick. perhaps things should just have stopped at the peak because it's quite impossible to get another higher peak. perhaps you're right.
sigh, ok, ignore all my incoherent ramblings, it's 2am in the morning. time to sleep

iti'm back from my only weekend getaway from singapore for the entire 3 month break. retreat to pulau sibu for 3 days 2 nights and here is how it went:
day -1 night 10 pm:
the packing just started. took out all the clothes from my cupboard, all the toiletries, passport, money etc. dumped them all on my bed and had a hard time deciding what to bring and what not to bring and which bag to bring. in the end i just threw everything into the big black bag and the tired me went to sleep.
day 1:
woke up extremely early to go for a short morning run because i realised i would probably not have the chance to run for the next 2 days. if you think my usual 6am morning run is early, well, this time it was 4.30 because i had to be at kranji at 6.30. and of course i'm not stupid enough to run into the forest so i went to the stadium and realised i wasn't the first. caught the first bus to the mrt station and took a train to kranji. and of course we didn't set off at 6.30 sharp and by the time we got on to our bus in jb it was already 8.30. after about 2 hours of bus ride, which i slept through it undoubtly, and about half an hour of ferry ride. we finally arrived in sibu. it is a small and rather laid-back island, no fanciful shopping centres, entertainment. basically it's just the sand and the sea. we spent the first afternoon at the nearby beach, playing beach volleyball, frisbee and playing in the water. after dinner was night games and i concussed on the bed before 12.
day 2:
after breakfast we set off for snorkelling. everyone was in a high spirit although the sun was not as good as it was the day before. we spent the whole ferry trip taking photos and when it was finally time to get off the boat and to the beach, we suddenly hesitated about snorkelling. there were jellyfish everywhere around the boa, but we still put on our googles and went down the water, thinking that it wouldn't be too bad in the shallow waters. but we were wrong. it felt like we were playing catching with the jellyfish and instead of looking out for coral reefs and fish, we were looking out for jellyfish and trying our best to avoid them. it was quite a traumatizing task and although i did try very hard to avoid them, they were faster than i am. nasty little many-legged creature gave me a nasty little sting on my arm and left it in pain for the rest of the day. it was definitely not a pleasant experience but was an unforgettable one. of course, we had to give up on snorkelling in that area. perhaps it just wasn't our day, it rained after lunch and left us stucked in the resort playing hunter. when the sky finally cleared, it was time for more sea and sand. and we refuse to give up on snorkelling and so we finally did, at a beach with no jellyfish (at least i didn't encounter any). dinner was barbeque and i think we're a whole bunch of greedy and hungry people. we had to ask for extra dish and rice every meal. and we finished 2 big tins of biscuits after 2 nights of indian poker. i think our humongous appetite scared the resort owner.
oh ya, i didn't mention about the place that we stayed. it was nothing like a hotel, more like a chalet kind, where around 4 of us shared a room which only has a bed for us to sleep. the whole level had 4 toilets to be shared among 36 of us and there's no hot water. what's worse is that the tap water tastes rusty.
since that was the last night, of course there was minimal sleeping. we played murderer, indian poker and those who slept early knew the consequences.
day3:
it was the last day, or rather it was go-home day. we didn't do anything or go anywhere that day. after breakfast we packed up and left the little island which we spent 2 relaxing days. it's really sit around and wait for time to pass. it felt great for the time we were there, like a transient escape from the hectic city life, but i don't think i want to stay there for my entire life.
short holiday, but better than none.
now it's back to where i am. and here are some photos for viewing pleasure:









that's the whole group of us when we arrived.











before the "snorkelling"









the girls









153 club. make a guess why the name










s cube










the view from where we stayed









brokeback!!!!!









are you sleeping? are you sleeping?? yes, the whole bus is sleeping

check this out... i thought it was hilarious
http://flash.cyol.com/product/05121802324416.swf

today i took a last look into the mess that i've been staying in for the past 2 sememsters, yes, my not-so-lovely, quite convenient and used to be very messy room in hall 14 of nanyang crescent. will i miss the hostel life?? i don't know, shall blog more on my thoughts for the first year of my uni life when holiday officially starts, which will be in 2 days time.
today i also had the most unpleasant bus ride which i must comment. as i was happily taking the bus from boon lay to jurong east library, trying to make sense out of my notes, occasionally looking out of the window to enjoy the scenery, and drinking my soursop juice (ok, i admit i do eat in the bus), this old man got on and sat beside me. the first thought that came to my mind was: hello, can't you see there are empty seats (in fact quite a lot), why the hell must you place your ass on the seat beside mine? then i began to smell something funny, yes, it was from that dirty old man who smelled like he hasn't bathed for days. i decided to be nice and tolerant so i just looked out of the window so that my nose can be as far away from him as possible. and then, as i stole peeks at him, i realised what he was doing... he was putting his hand into his shirt and scratching himself and then flicking (some dead skin i suppose) off his fingers. i was already quite grossed out by him right from the start and now here's the climax. he scratched, took his hand out of his shirt, towards his face, in front of his nose, smelled it, and then moved it a little lower and yes, into his mouth. oh my god, i almost felt like puking when i see him chewing and nibbling at whatever stuff that was. yucksssssssss!!!!!!!!!

有人无法看见美景，有人无法听见声音。
有人无法唱歌，无法倾听。
有人闻不到花香，有人不能四处跑动，有人没脚穿鞋。
为什么我还要不停抱怨，不能像小鸟一样，飞入云端玩耍？

i've been blog surfing recently and just to pen down some thoughts on life...
it's strange how some people try so hard to maintain that breath of life while others try all means to take it away... yes, it's so vulnerable yet so strong. seems like some things are not within our control, if someone wants to take it away just like that, what can we do to stop? and it's ridiculous how some people tried to commit suicide for various reasons and tried all means but failed in the end. what losers these people are? why are they so unappreciative of the beauty of life?
yes, and i've just called myself a loser. honestly, i've ever thought about it, but i didn't have the courage to. because i can't bear to leave my loved ones, or rather i don't want to be remembered as the coward who does not have the courage to face reality.
i know that there are so many people out there who are so much less fortunate than i am, and if they can live on so happily, why can't i do the same? really, how do you define happiness? it's not about money, not about achievement, nor results... i think it's more of a phychological thing...
i will stop complaining about my life, because i'm lucky enough to be given this chance to live and i will treasure it and spread it around. i just did today, by donating blood.

ok, i shall be good so here it goes....

Rules:
1. Bold the following words that are true about you.
2. Green the things you wish were true.
3. Add one thing true about you.
And then tag FIVE more people.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days. i've been watching tv everyday since exams started, or rather, since i moved back home
i should spend more time exercising than being a couch potato!!!
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lens.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've been in a threesome.
I've been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm totally smart. yeah right....
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi. or rather to put it more generally, i love food
I talk really, really fast/unclear.
i wish i spoke slower
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. and i hate getting unknown calls and i can always reject calls that i don't want to answer, heh when i'm in a dao mood
I like the way I look. yup, it's in green
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.erm, i can move my ears
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have alot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
i am talking now!
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window-shopping.
I would rather shop than eat. can i have both??
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. sigh...
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before. yes quite a lot...
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn. yeah right now it's 109 cell bio
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex. sometimes
I have made a move on a friend's significant past or crush in the past.
I own the a South Park movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.Democrat.
I am punk rockish.I am preppy.
I study for tests most (ALL) of the time. haha this must be a joke
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can. haha i went home barefooted from kallang before when my slippers disappeared
I have jumped off a bridge. sigh, didn't get to try the bridge jump for x-physique
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at MacDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses!
I fall for the wrong people. ??? hahahahahaha
I adore bright colours. totally
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing. yeah when i should be studying for my paper tomorrow...
I usually like covers more than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongues in waves, much like a snakes slithers.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distraction.
I'm usually bothered by trivias.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie. how about 3 to 4 cups of coffee a day?? and my aim is to abstain from coffee after exams
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary. it's never necessary at home cos my mom will do it when she can't stand the untidyness anymore... hostel?? hehe i dare not even go back to see what's the situation like
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy. who doesn't? but the problem lies in how to be happy
I am an adrenaline junkie.
I have ridden an elephant.
I love chocolates! it's a love-hate relationship haha
I go to school NOT for the sake of lessons. sometimes, just to chill out with friends... school would be fantastic without the stress of lessons and exams
I love tomatoes
I like peanut butter on bananas.
Been told "You're on fire!"
I'm a netballer. some say i look like one, but the truth is i have no ball sense at all
I want to be everything cool!
I believe in Serendipity.
I think the word "RASPBERRY" is sexaaay! ????!!!! i think watermelon sounds better
I love to look at people's teeth. ???!!!! i used to look at teeth a lot when i was working at the dentist
I don't wanna grow up.
I can cross my eyes n stick out my tongue n still look cute.
Gaining weight is a wonderful thing. my big fat ass!!!!
I am a procrastinator.
I love listening to gossip.

Something about me: actually i don't really know myself sometimes!

wow that was a pretty long list to go through, i don't know why i did it when i'm suppose to be hugging buddha's leg now haha.

so here are the lucky five:
fengyi
rachel
meixiu
michelle li
michelle chan
and whoever who is bored


almost halfway through and i refuse to comment on the dire state of this exam. sigh....
i've been staying at home for the past 2 weeks and i must say that home is a perfect place to eat and sleep and yes, get fat..... and now my only forn of exercise now is running and the best thing is i run on the treadmill and watch tv at the same time, haha so that i won't feel so guilty for watching tv...

shall stay at home today cos i'm lazy to go out, and my mom is scared of my presence at home cos i eat everything in the kitchen, and my dad likes it when i'm home cos my mom will cook more and better dinner haha, how ironic...

i can't wait for exams to be over, and here's my to-do list after exams:
- food therapy (i think in this case my dad is more eager for my exams to end so that he can have his buffet)
- exercise therapy (to get rid of all the fats and junk in my body that is accumulated during the exam period)
- singing therapy (oh man, i'm so ktv deprived!!!!!!!)
- retail therapy (yes, shopping shopping and more shopping please!!!!)
- don't drink anymore coffee!!!!!

and here's my plans for holiday:
- get a nice, fun and slack job (like working in an ice creamery or baking cakes)
- educate my sister (to get her ready for school next year, still can't imagine her going to school, seeing her grow up make me feel that she's forever a baby)
- train, train and train to get those muscles and nice tan back
- get some reading done (this is going to be the hardest i tell ya)

it's the time of the year again and i feel like my head is exploding... maybe someone should just take a chopper and chop it off. just kidding...
time to play disappearing act again, and i've been hiding at home as much as possible. i hate this feeling. it seems like school has just started last week and my mind has not been activated yet. grrr just hang in there..
on a lighter side, there's 2 new additions to my house - 2 hamsters which are keeping my sister busy. her record of pets was one week (2 cute rabbits died in her hands) and i certainly pray for the 2 little hamsters.
3 days ago while working at the ciee work and travel usa, i was using my tongue to clean my mouth after eating an apple and i felt something like apple skin stucked at the end of the bottom row of teeth which can't come out, only to realise it was my wisdom tooth taking a peek. haha i'm getting wiser.
i feel feverish and i think i'll take a plunge into the freezing pool later...
man, i hate myself, hate myself, hate myself..........

I'm super irritated with the security guard at my condo. Today is the third time he's stopping me from walking in and i had to convince him that I stay here.
I'm so sick and tired of this boring school life. Give me a break!!!!!

so the time has come for mission impossible....
it's almost midnight now and i'm drinking tea to keep myself awake for hope of studying late into the night, although i know it's only a matter of time when my eyelids starts covering my eyeballs and my brain shuts down completely...
today was another bad school day when i uncontrollably fell asleep during the first lecture and got myself a cup of coffee hoping to pay better attention during the second class... but...
oh well, i think i'm surviving on caffeine and this is really bad. the feeling of your mind not following your body and feels like i'm floating
just came back from watching ice age 2, it's really cute and funny and definitely a good way to destress. you really made my day and i can't imagine weeks without you....
go study la girl......

so tmr's the day.
i'm beginning to question myself have i lost it? as far as i can remember, this is not the right kind of pre-race feeling. i don't feel the excitement, the competition high. all i remember is your message and that was what made me push on. about half a year ago, i reluctantly joined ntu canoeing after trying so hard to convince myself i wasn't going to touch a paddle anymore, and since then, i've been lifting weights and paddling my ass off in the canoes once again. why? i don't know.... until a month ago, i knew what i has paddling for. it's almost an impossibility that we're fighting for, but i still believe impossible is nothing. i'm stressed, so much so that i nearly broke down into tears. i know how important this race is to you, and i want to make it something which you can take back. don't worry partner, i'll give my hundred percent tomorrow, nothing less. i used to love watching people race, i used to love racing, i still do, it's just the feeling is totally different. perhaps it's something i will never forget, and watching others race will only bring it back somehow...
shit, i think i'm in a state of depression too. or call it stubborn..... it's just me and i really hate myself for being who i am. i'm so sorry but i didn't mean to hurt you.. just let me hide in my room please and don't worry i won't kill myself...
i'm sorry but i chose to escape.........

it's been a long time since i've blogged. it was either because i didn't have the time or i didn't have the mood. although i admit i am guilty of not replying messages promptly, i really couldn't reply to the long message you sent. was it coincidencial that i happen to be looking at those past photos? but you woke me up from my own dreamland. i so wanted to put an end to it, once and for all. until you made me realise i can't exist in my own world.
wake up girl.... enough time and youth wasted.. i don't want to live on like this forever.. i wish i could love myself as much as i love you..

If people say every year is different, I say 2005 is the year where a lot of major changes took place in my life. There was lots of fun, excitement, new experience, and disappointment.
It's the year that I entered university, a completely different learning environment from what I was used to. No more classrooms, no more teachers chasing after tutorials and making a big fuss for not attending or sleeping in classes. I still remember my first lecture which I happily entered empty handed, expecting the lecturer to pass us the lecture notes, only to realise we had to print our own.
Staying in hall was another new experience. Although it was just an hour's journey back home, I could nevertheless feel the freedom I never had before. Although I wouldn't say my hall is the most happening hall, living with friends did provide much more fun factor than living with parents. I think the best part of hall is that I don't have to account for all my late returns
2005 was also the year I experienced a working life, the trouble of looking for a job which I like and offers good pay. The initial thrill of earning my own money and doing something to occupy myself that gradually grew into boredom of a repetitive routine and now the preference of staying at home and resting or going out and spending money instead of earning. Ask me which is better, working or studying, I say I want a bit of both.
Did quite a lot of travelling in 2005 too. Had a splendid trip to Western Australia with family in January. It felt great to take a break from the city life and immerse ourselves in the tranquility of nature, catching crabs from the river beside where we stayed, and visiting the farms, getting in touch with those cute little animals and not forgetting the mouth-watering grapes, peaches and melons. They were so good that we imported almost 20kg worth of fruits back to Singapore. Then there was China trip in May with mom and sis. Vast difference in scenery, environment and surrounding. But with the prices of goods, I shall take back those complaints. Got to visit my future school and it was nowhere in comparison with SBS in NTU. I think I will either starve to death due to the lack of fish and seafood there or stuff myself real fat with the fattening road-side food. Take the soup noodles for example, instead of droplets of oil you find droplets of soup amongst the thick layer of oil. But the food there is great, if you dare to eat that is.
Of course there is the experience of failure. The rejection of scholarships, overseas universities and from medicine. Well, I guess that's all part and parcel of life, I won't deny the fact that I was disappointed, but they eased my decision of where to go and what to do. In fact, I am very satisfied with my current situation. Although Bio is not my forte, I think things will not be better if I was in medicine. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself during the scholarship activities, mixing around the the future leaders and scientists and a crash course in presentation and interview skills when they gave you a topic like "how would chairs look like if our legs bend forward instead of backwards" on the spot and ask you to crap for 1 minute. or having 15 minutes to prepare a GP-like question and giving a 5 minute presentation. Ask me to do it now, i'll tell you it's next to impossibility.
Then there was the usual last minute studying, which didn't turn out to be exactly very effective. Imagine studying everything in about 1 or 2 weeks. Everything meaning a crash course for A level Biology. I was almost pulling my hair out every night and cursing and swearing at all the scientists and professors. In fact, I have never gone into the examination hall so unprepared before, but I guess there's always a first time for everything, and I'm definitely not hoping for anymore.
And of course, you drew the perfect conclusion to the year 2005. Love the times we spent together and the crazy things we did. I guess we both have our busy schedules and I'm so guilty of that, but that will only make me treasure the times we can have together.

Holidays are almost over, so is 2005. These few days are busy but with a sense of accomplishment. I finally got my furniture for my room and finally had the courage to get my ears pierced after walking past and stopping at B*dazzle for more than 3 times. I felt like an animal in the zoo with people walking past and looking at me. The one on the right cartilage was surprisingly not as painful as what I thought it would be. I was totally mentally unprepared as I just settled down in the seat and was getting ready for a shot when I suddenly felt something hitting my ear and there, it went in, in just 1 second. Then the nice lady told me the left one won't be as painful but with total anticipation, I thought it was worse. Ignorance is bliss, true indeed. The price was rather steep but at least it is safe and professional.
Christmas is a season of love and food. I've been pigging out on every food in sight like nobody's business and watching the fats build up around my waist and arms and thighs and everywhere else. Canoers dinner always end up to be a mass pigging out session. Dinner at fish and co and lots of cakes at secret recipe directly after that left us so bloated and fat that we decided to walk down orchard just to let the food digest. But it was certainly great catching up with you guys, as usual, we made lots of noise and talked about everything that nobody else would. Our fun always seem to evolve from food. I can never forget the marche desserts that were gone in a few seconds, the cafe cartel bananas etc etc, I thought canoeists are suppose to be on a healthy diet??
This is perhaps the most special and meaningful christmas in my life with the best christmas present one can ever get.

don't expect me to be in a good mood after a day when everything goes wrong. First it was waking up late for training because my poor phone battery died and other samsung chargers didn't seem to be able to charge it. So I had no alarm clock and only a lousy clock on my table which was half an hour slow. Didn't run today. damn. Paddled k2, not much comments about that. Next was cleaning off the tape on the k2s. Call me a lazy bum or a slacker, but I don't think anyone likes to play with thinners and sticky gluey stuff. What's worse was that halfway the rain started pouring and left us shivering in the cold. The cleaning stopped and I grabbed my bag and immediately made my way home, hoping for a good warm bath and lunch.
Reached home after waiting damn long for the bus and got up to my place. Pushed the door handle. locked. pressed the doorbell. no answer. knocked on the door and shouted. the dog next door started barking. So the frozen and starved me went down to find a phone to call the idiots who locked me out of the house knowing that I forgot to bring my keys. called home, no answer. called dad, at work and had no idea where my mom went. called to my old house, line not in use anymore. alright, at least I got the news that there is a spare key at the customer service or whatever the place is called, so I went there, with great hope of getting the keys and saving myself from the coldness. Lunchtime for them, which means I had to wait till 2pm. Bloody hell, wasted almost an hour trying to get home, not forgetting the fact that I was drenched, cold and hungry. The mess in my room was certainly unhelpful and I searched all over but couldn't find the charger and couldn't find my mom.
Only managed to save my dead phone late in the evening after going back to my old place, grabbed the charger which my mom conveniently left behind and rushed down to school for meeting, then cheerleading.
Demoralised and pissed at myself for failing to do those stunts, for missing road relay training, for my indecisiveness, for so many things undone. christmas shopping, getting furniture for my room, not being able to perform at trainings, not going for bbqs, etc, etc. basically not being able to meet my own expectations.
Degeneration.. I'm losing the determination, the fighting spirit, the willingness to pia. I've realised i'm no superwoman, I can't have everything under the sun.
Alright, relax and enjoy, and stop being a perfectionist. it's the holidays after all.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/">What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

mom stop stressing me!!!!!!! stop asking me when i'm ever going to finish packing my stuff!!!! what's the hurry to move? I have no bed, no table, nothing so you expect me to sleep and write and do everything on the floor right? Is my blood really that sweet? I have at least 10 mosquito bites on each leg and they're itching like hell. idiotic mosquitoes, stop biting me!!!
It's been a busy and crazy week so far and it definitely is not good to be forgetful. damn.

It has been a while since I've had this feeling. The feeling of anxiety, excitement, anticipation for that moment when the horn goes off and you paddle like never before. And so I did it again today. A whole long 22km in the open waters on a k2. The start was really bad. Just imagine about 200 boats squeezed in between 2 bouys and the control boat shouting at everyone to move back when it was almost impossible to find a spot in the water to dig your paddle in. I think in the end the starter couldn't be bothered anymore and just sounded the starting horn. And so mass, or rather mess of boats went off, and I should be glad my paddles could touch the water though my hands kept slipping off. The next 2 hours or so was almost totally mental. We wanted to catch the boats in front, but seeing that it was almost impossible, I knew it was going to be an inner race between my mind and body. I kept telling myself I will do my best for everyone that wished me luck, for my dearest partner, and for your morning surprise.
The water was very unpredictable, calm at certain places and really choppy at others, with the aid of big ships that never failed to irritate me. But we survived the wind and the waves and crossed the finishing line. That was my first bronze medal. I prefer photos, so here it goes..














team NTU




















rachel and I

why are holidays even more busy than normal school days. I've been running around the whole of Singapore from place to place and going take a long mrt ride from boon lay to pasir ris for training early tomorrow morning... So busy that I have no time to stick to my words of blogging everyday. So here's a summary..
Hall 14 bash on tuesday. Arrived there very early and the fun has yet to begin, so we walked one whole round around clarke quay before finally entering gotham penthouse at around 10pm. The initial atmosphere wasn't that good and the music was quite bad. I was enjoying myself and stoning around until someone ordered shots. 1 shot down and I was high already, not drunk, just high and the real party began. The music got better, but still not very good. Wanted to leave early to get a rest before the next day's training, but I stayed all the way till 3am.
With 3 hours of sleep, I got out of my bed reluctantly for training at pasir ris with the help of caffeine. It was such a fun training. The feeling of sea water, waves, rubbish, dead fish. Basically the feeling of kallang. The water was not as bad as what I had expected. It just felt like kallang water. Well, you can say today was more like an expedition rather than training and I do like this kind of trainings. The best part was getting out of the boat along the sandy beach. Just like Kallang...
Ok, I'm super sleepy now and soon I be typing what I'm dreaming...
My wish list for christmas:
- a new pencil case
- a gym ball (55cm)
- a nice tan
- lose weight
- lots of new clothes and accessories
- a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle
- shop shop shop

The weekend has been busy but definitely fruitful and unforgetable.
Yesterday was the day that I completed my second marathon. Woke up as early as 4am to have breakfast and get everything ready so that I can be in the starting line for the flag-off instead of being in the toilet, as what I've been doing for the past half and full marathons. True enough, I reached there at around 5.20 and was just in time to mentally and physically prepare myself for the 42km run which began promptly at 6am. One thing I really like about the runs is that they always start on time, no matter if everyone is ready or not. I think that is called professionalism, and that's something Singaporeans should be ashamed about. Is it chinese in general or only here in Singapore where people leave their house at the time they are suppose to meet and the first half an hour or so of conferences or seminars is for registration where in actual fact is to allow for late-comers. I think I'm digressing. Ok back to marathon.
I cannot describe the excitement as I stood amongst all the other runners doing some warm-up and eagerly awaiting the flag-off. 5-4-3-2-1, and then the crowd cheered and I slowly made my way, with the crowd, to the starting line where I embarked on my 42.195km run. There was really a lot of people this year, but not to the extent that there was a jam. As my legs moved, as my heart beat, slowly, but surely, with every step I took, I was one step nearer to the finishing line. I think I should be really grateful to the canoeists whom I paced and their pace was quite fast for a marathon. There were times when I thought I couldn't catch up anymore and wanted to drop behind, but I knew once I slow down a bit, that is it. And so I pressed on. Man, it was totally mental. The Kenyan runners were unbelievable, their speed for marathon is faster than my 2.4 pace. The route for the first 15km or so was the same as that last year, as far as I can remember and it was yesterday that I truely experienced the so-called "runner's high". After the 21st km, I suddenly had this "high" that kept my legs moving despite the pain and soreness in my knees once in a while. I love running.
As compared to last year, the last 20km didn't feel as daunting, I counted up and down, and looked forward to the next drink station, hoping that there will be 100 plus. Power gel is really powerful. But I think it'll be a better idea to have a drink station nearer the powergel giving out point cos it doesn't feel very good to run with a mouthful of sweet gluey taste. Trust powergel for its instant power...
And so I made my way slowly past the 30km, 35km, 40km marks in the hot scorching sun. The last part was the real challenge. Almost everybody around me was walking, and the heat was almost unbearable. What made is worse is the fact that it was at marina promenade, a path that used to be so familiar. For someone like me who doesn't like to run a known route, it was hard taking step by step and knowing how long more there is to go. But I kept encouraging myself, for I know it's not the time to give up especially when I've already endured 40km, the last 2km or so is nothing. Determination, perserverence, whatever it takes to give me the last push cross the finishing line. I knew I could do it, and I did it. 5 hours and 22 minutes non-stop, not even toilet breaks. I thought my legs would give way after the long run and I would collapse on the floor, but instead, I felt a sense of satisfaction and happiness that nothing else could provide, for I know I've proved it for myself, I've won myself. Mind over everything, cliche as it may sound, but it can't be more true. Who is there to push you for 42km, to tell you not to give up, to give you a kick on the butt when you want to stop? No one forces you to finish it, no one can pull or push you for 42km, and no one can experience the triumph of a marathon finisher, no one except yourself.
Some interesting things along the way... I don't know whether it's a problem with the male bladder, but I've seen so many guys running to the drain to answer the call of nature. And if you think that's bad, wait until you see this sight: a fat indian guy (not that i'm racist) with a belly that could jolly well contain 5 big watermelons standing beside the bench in between the walking and cycling paths at east coast park doing his 'part' in fertilising the grass. What the .... trying to be a public nuisance and showing off his big fat dick in public. I also saw these 2 guys wearing bras over their singlet in support for breast cancer. How daring of them. Not to forget those sexy cheerleaders, helpers and ordinary people who made the effort to give a word of encouragement to every runner who passes. Then there was this guy whose singlet really struck me. Behing his blue adidas jersey, written in black was something that goes like this "in memory of my father/date (which I couldn't remember)/ lung cancer/quit smoking/don't start" I thought that was really touching.
Some tips for running a marathon:
- empty your bladder and large intestine before the run.
- apply sunblock (which I didn't)
- get a good pair of running shoes, so you won't get blisters. For this I strongly recommend New Balance, although the designs are not the nicest around, it's definitely worth the money and didn't give kme any problem for this year's run.
- wear as little accessories as possible (anklets are very capable of giving you blisters)
- not recommended to wear ankle socks although they are fashionable and looks nice
- don't run against other people, run with others and remember, you are your only competetor
- aim for the next 100 plus point or water point as you run
- run when everybody else is walking
- run in the shade whenever possible
- thank those people cheering you on and give them a high five if they offer.
- hydrate yourself
- encourage yourself
- think of those people who believed in you, and show them you can do it.
- most importantly, believe in yourself

I'm glad this year's stuff are sponsored by adidas, the design and quality of the shirt was much better than last year's but I think adidas should go back and revise the sizes. I feel squashed in xs and feel like i'm swimming in s.

Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2005 is over.
Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2006, here I come and hoping that I can beat this year's time

This is quite true, especially those in red....

Virgo women:
She will be similar to Leo woman in appearance. A slim woman who walks with confident and proud. She has an egg shape facial structure, high and round forehead. She likes to look straight as if she is searching. She is not a pretentious type and will always say what she thinks. You will see Virgo woman walks fast. She will try her best to be perfect, to look perfect and to feel perfect even though there is no such perfection. She is very delicate of what and how she dress. She is bright and easily despair with obstacles. She likes smart guy who will be compatible with her, so if you are a rich dumb guy, you can forget about her right now. She is not a very possessive or jealous person for she expect respect from her love one. She does not like a part time lover, or a temporary mate. If she finds her dream man, she will not go away. If she does not like you, she will always keep a certain ! distant. Act proper and appropriate is her discipline.

She does not like and can not stand bad languages, cursing words or phrase. She likes a gentleman who open the doors for her. She wants to feel protected and when a man taking care of her, she will feel like a complete woman. She memorizes everything about other people and about herself very well. She can really keep secret, you can trust her on this. She likes a refreshing and a mild scent. She is very delicate in maintaining her beauty, so you could see she is seriously picking soap which match and most suit her skin. Do not comments her on this very picky habits, it is her happiness in working full times as a self beautifier. She is not an innocent angle for sometimes she can be as tough as steel. Even she easily despair, she is not the type to cry over it. She is a shy type, so making speech in front of the room can make her nervous even she walks and talks confidently. She only search for true love , not just any love. Her love is an ideal one. She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an angel again. If you have a date with her , you'd better be there on time. Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry , make it brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long making it up events, it could lead you to another world war. She likes her man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money. Do not make she thinks that she is a clown or funny. In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it would not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too. Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as your can.

Hall 14 bash on 6th Dec (tuesday) at Gotham Penthouse at 14 bucks, anyone????
well shall blog about other stuff tomorrow...

December is finally here, which means christmas is near. I think I've said I'll make it a point to blog everyday, but it seems like my holidays are super-packed.
Sports bash on tuesday was well, quite sad. The turn-out wasn't as good as what I expected, maybe because it's due to the rain and the fact that it's a tuesday. Or maybe I just wasn't in the mood. Tired from training and walking aimlessly in orchard. I think I can't get more kiasu than buying movie tickets for saturday on tuesday. Why do I have this feeling that Hall 14 bash is going to be worse. Sigh...
Woke up later than usual on wednesday (= 8am) and spent my morning hiding in my room reading magazine and sleeping. Relunctantly left my house after lunch and bought curtains for my room. It's so colourful and pretty. After that, I headed down to school to go for my first cheerleading practice. It was suppose to start at 7pm but by the time everyone arrived and we actually got down to practising it was already 8 plus. I love watching people do stunts for cheerleading but when you're the one getting carried and thrown around, it's another story. It's really a test of balancing and trust. I think the scariest part is the anticipation - standing high up trying not to tremble and getting ready for the second where support on your feet is taken off and you drop with the acceleration due to free fall. But it is fun fun fun.
Training today was very exciting. The waves and wind were worse than that in kallang. I was already cursing and swearing at the wind on my first km. And it started raining on the 4th km. The wind almost blew our paddles away and the waves pushed the boat forward. Normally the water would be very calm after the rain, but it didn't. What a good training for round ubin. At least it added some thrill into the boring long paddling.
I'm addicted to grapes and yoghurt. yum yum, and I think my mom is scared of my huge appetite for grapes. I can finish half a kg of grapes and crave for more. Is one's liking for food by nature or nurture? I think my sister is a health freak by nature and she doesn't know it. She simply loves vegetables and fruits, doesn't like chocolate or cream. She only eats the bread on burgers and only the chicken meat for kfc chicken and not the skin at all. And you'll be surprised at her ability to spit out the tiniest bit of fats in meat and tell you that the dish is too salty for her liking. Ok, she beats me in that.

the weather is crazy.. it was pouring in the bright sunlight just now and the wind was damn strong that it slammed the door and blew everything off my table. that lasted for 10 minutes and now it's bloody hot again. But at least I'm getting a nice tan, erm, take back the word nice, more like i'm getting a jersey tan.
yesterday was such a busy day, running around island. First I went to school to get my matric card replaced, then met my dad at westmall to get my new phone, and because I don't have my ic the phone is still under his name, which means he's going to pay for the bill for one more month. Then I went to lavender to get my ic. Seems like losing your ic is a very serious business. They made me do a write up on how my ic was lost and conducted an "interview". But the lady was really nice and although there's no such thing as great singapore sale at ICA, I got a discount for replacing my ic. With everything almost done, I headed down to town to get my atm card and of course, shopping. There goes my money saved from the discount. Met up with the programmers for dinner and yes, I caught harry potter after all. Well, not much comments about the movie since I am no harry potter fan and didn't fully understand the plot cos I didn't read the books.
I'm in love with my new phone. The pink one was so pretty but no I got the blue one instead.

the handphone chain is so bimbotic and it's a mirror on the other side, but i love it
















I think this is rather freaky....
I think I'm in love with blue

I'm fucking pissed with whoever that bastard with no integrity and no moral values to resort to stealing to satisfy his or her own desires. Well, more like I'm disappointed with the fact that there's this kind of people around and if the person is a canoest, I really have nothing else to say other than "you are such a disgrace". If you want the money, take it and leave everything else behind. Well, I hope I've terminated my phone and all my atm cards fast enough so you can't use any shit that's inside. Anyway it's time to get a new phone and all I can say is sorry dad, you can't have a phone with camera and radio cos a fucker has taken it. Alright, at least I've got a programme for monday. Go get my ic, matric card, atm card, gym card, ez link card replaced and go get a new phone. Well, looking on the brighter side, I can change the my ic photo (at a cost of 100 bucks) and a new phone. Maybe I should be glad that I have spent about 100 bucks these few days if not the fucking thief would have more money. But I love my wallet and I need my phone contact list cos the ever-so-forgetful-me only remembers 2 numbers: my home phone and my handphone. Nothing else.
Alright, at least I've satisfied my taste buds with chomp chomp's stingray and all the other spicy and yummy seafood. Can't believe I actually finished one gigantic mug of sugar cane while sitting there for 4 hours indulging in all yummilicious but fattening delicacies. I love spicy food. yum yum thinking of it makes me drool.
feeling lost and detached from the world now. a symptom of handphone-overdependence i guess...

It has been a long time since I last felt this satisfied with myself. It sure is great to cancel out things on my to-do list and I just cancelled 2 of them yesterday. Despite the rain that dampened the whole atmosphere and my mood for going out, I still carried my umbrella and walked happily out of the house. After a long bus ride, I finally arrived at HSA and excitedly made my way into bloodbank to do my good deed of the day - donate blood. And so now I have 350ml of blood less but feel a much greater sense of satisfaction. Although HSA is far, I prefer it there as compared to other blood drive centres and NUH, the nurses there are so much better and friendlier and they have much better refreshments than just biscuits.
Then was the event of the day - ktv the whole afternoon until 9pm. Certainly worth the money and singing makes you forget about hunger until food reaches your mouth.
The rainy season is here again. It's been raining on and off today and I stayed at home the whole day. Spent most of my time stoning, listening to music, eating, sleeping, reading and yes, doing jigsaw puzzle. Blame it on that ambitious little sister of mine who took my 1000 piece jigsaw. I'll call her a genius if she can finish it by herself.

rain, rain go away... the cold blooded me it wearing jacket and slippers at home and still typing with my icy cold fingers. Blame myself for eating cold yoghurt and watermelon for breakfast, shall warm myself up with a nice hot cup of tea now.
Although I have more free time now since the bulk of the papers are over, it seems like I've been blogging less mainly because most of my time are not spent at home or in hall where I have nothing to do but face the computer. Just 3 words to summarise what I've been doing these few days: train, work, play. Almost perfect way of life if only there's less work, but isn't that the source of income that allows me to shop and play? Don't call me a spendthrift yet until I start on real shopping spree. I love shopping but I don't have all the money in the world. I love food but I can't afford to eat all I want without feeling fat and guilty, and yes, I do love chocolates but I'm trying to resist the temptations so don't tempt me... I love running but I think I should listen to my knees and give them a break. I gave myself a scare yesterday when I accidentally shifted my right patella out of position and back again with just a slight pressure from resting my hand on it while doing the jigsaw puzzle. hate those bones on my knees. I think I have the joints of a fifty-year-old and I want a massage or accupuncture. I can't imagine how bad things will be when I'm old. It's less than 2 weeks away from marathon, I think I will rest for the last week and hope I can finish it, it's all in the mind...
The rain has stopped and I shall prepare to get out of the house. I've been going out everyday. Feels good...

Can't get myself out of this holiday mood when the fact is that I have one more paper to go. This is life. Seems like my holidays are going to be busy and I'm far from jobless now. Well, at least it will keep me busy and not waking up every morning not knowing what to do for the rest of the day.
Things that I want:
- a 5000 piece jigsaw to keep me occupied
- get an ear piercing
- get a new phone
- enjoy every moment