once upon a time, i dreamt about living in a beautiful big palace having everything i wanted. then i dreamt about living in the moon. as i grew older, i dreamt about being the best in what i do, i dreamt about being the top student, being a president scholar, marrying the guy who will become the president and live my whole life in luxury. then i dreamt about being the singapore's fastest canoeist, smartest and prettiest girl.
yes i was greedy, i was insane and i thought i could do it.
but look at me now, i am nowhere near any of these dreams. people always say we must have big dreams and aim high, but now i choose to be realistic. yes, no more of that supergirl who could do everything. sometimes i look back a wonder, what is the purpose of life. my dad asked me that one morning and i told him, i want to be happy with whatever i do. he shook his head and immediately replied, i'm so disappointed with you, not even planning ahead and only aiming for such simple goals in life. i know you want me to be your pride and i think i've already done enough, i'm sick and tired of hearing what i should be doing and achieving. it's not that i don't want, it's that i really can't do it anymore.
sometimes i really ponder about this question: is it worth it? for all the time and effort i've put in, all the sacrifices and at the end of the day no spectacular results. perhaps i really shouldn't have even started. girl, it's time to take a break, go breathe the fresh air, let loose and just follow your heart.
please, let it go....
(i'm super sleepy now.. to be continued when i've time)