don't expect me to be in a good mood after a day when everything goes wrong. First it was waking up late for training because my poor phone battery died and other samsung chargers didn't seem to be able to charge it. So I had no alarm clock and only a lousy clock on my table which was half an hour slow. Didn't run today. damn. Paddled k2, not much comments about that. Next was cleaning off the tape on the k2s. Call me a lazy bum or a slacker, but I don't think anyone likes to play with thinners and sticky gluey stuff. What's worse was that halfway the rain started pouring and left us shivering in the cold. The cleaning stopped and I grabbed my bag and immediately made my way home, hoping for a good warm bath and lunch.
Reached home after waiting damn long for the bus and got up to my place. Pushed the door handle. locked. pressed the doorbell. no answer. knocked on the door and shouted. the dog next door started barking. So the frozen and starved me went down to find a phone to call the idiots who locked me out of the house knowing that I forgot to bring my keys. called home, no answer. called dad, at work and had no idea where my mom went. called to my old house, line not in use anymore. alright, at least I got the news that there is a spare key at the customer service or whatever the place is called, so I went there, with great hope of getting the keys and saving myself from the coldness. Lunchtime for them, which means I had to wait till 2pm. Bloody hell, wasted almost an hour trying to get home, not forgetting the fact that I was drenched, cold and hungry. The mess in my room was certainly unhelpful and I searched all over but couldn't find the charger and couldn't find my mom.
Only managed to save my dead phone late in the evening after going back to my old place, grabbed the charger which my mom conveniently left behind and rushed down to school for meeting, then cheerleading.
Demoralised and pissed at myself for failing to do those stunts, for missing road relay training, for my indecisiveness, for so many things undone. christmas shopping, getting furniture for my room, not being able to perform at trainings, not going for bbqs, etc, etc. basically not being able to meet my own expectations.
Degeneration.. I'm losing the determination, the fighting spirit, the willingness to pia. I've realised i'm no superwoman, I can't have everything under the sun.
Alright, relax and enjoy, and stop being a perfectionist. it's the holidays after all.