and because i'm oh-so-bored early in the morning, staring out of the window and decided to amuse myself with the morning traffic.
lta may be smart in increasing the number of ERP gantries, and happily announcing that traffic conditions have thus improved from 'less than 20km/h to 21-24km/h' (somewhere along that line as what i heard on radio last week). i really almost burst out laughing. that is snail speed can?
and where do they think all those smarter drivers went? let me show you:

that's the view out of my window at 8.10am. see that long stream of traffic on the right? is it the normal peak hour traffic or are they trying to avoid the new upp bt timah erp??

and that's the view half an hour later....
wows..
ok, time to draw the curtains and switch on the aircon before i get roasted..
can't wait for phase 1 of my uni life to be over. just another 9 more days.. and kind of looking forward to phase 2 and 3. another 2 years to go....

looks like the 'blackout' was just a powertrip. and i searched high and low for the switchbox, and guess what? i found my longlost laptop accessories, including the recovery disk! (which my mom was so sure it was nowhere to be found ever again). and it turned out that the switchbox was just outside my room, hidden in the cupboard.
finally remembered to buy ant poison to feed those little deprived ants in the house. irritating little crawling things that are attacking everything.
die ants die! go to hell and never come back!

once again, i'm laughing at myself...

can't believe that i spent the whole morning cleaning my room, sweeping the floor, tidying up my table and bed, scrubbing the toilet bowl and basin, when i'm suppose to be studying!! and knowing that i usually do zero housework, i think i must really have woken up on the wrong side of my bed!
i can literally survive on bread alone, especially when it's the only source of readily available food at home now. and because there's no kettle, no fridge, no microwave oven, even making a cup of coffee means i have to switch on the stove and boil water the traditional way. and of course that applies for cup noodles too. so i had bread for breakfast and lunch, because it was raining and i was lazy.
now this is what i call simple life. to my utmost horror, i discovered that the lights in the kitchen, dining and living room and corridor died!!! luckily the ones in my room and toilet are still working, if not i don't even think i can find candles in the house now.
someone please teach me how to concentrate. please teach me how to be disciplined...

horrified by the fact that
1. i spent a total of one hour in total today on just waiting for the bus.
2. my big photo was actually on my school's website a year ago and all the info was wrong and they quoted me for something which i obviously have not said! luckily nobody really bothers to surf the website and i think it can't be linked from the homepage now unless by the ever powerful google search.
3. i probably failed my patho test (though i'll never know)
4. my dearest little sis has no lessons tmr and so do i.
5. 2 weeks to exams and 1 last week of school left.

轻轻触摸未来遥远的风
有一天你会找回你的梦
幸福是看得透而不是
舍不得他的所有

This is such a common sight after one day of lessons. I think the 'no eating' sign was being torn down long ago and perhaps a bigger dustbin should be provided in case the little mountain topples..
yeah, that's our second home!

i won't be me if i'm not so last minute, so let 2359 settle everything while hopefully i can put everything aside till then. major headache. major pain in the arse. already getting so sick of it even before starting it. yeah i'm talking about fyp, and it didn't take me too long to realise that my interest does not lie in bio. my fav modules are actually things like bio stats and organic chem and maybe plant bio, but things like genetics, molecular, cell etc etc just don't get registered in my head. pui! put me in a lab and i'll probably ingest the virus or bacteria unknowingly. bio-hazard huh? yeah i'm the hazard in the bio lab!

perahps the adventures of taking bus to school every morning will be something i will miss. and last saturday just added to my collection. i was initially quite pleased and feeling quite lucky with buses that morning since i didn't have to wait long for the bus. thought i could reach class early and do some last minute mugging for the test that day. and so i got on the bus that takes me to school, sat down happily and started reading notes. after a while, i realised the bus was still in the interchange and not moving. at first i thought the driver was waiting for the buses to clear so that he could turn out, but when it was all clear the bus remained stationary. after about 10 minutes, one of the passengers got impatient and went up to the driver to ask wth he's waiting for. apparently, someone sitting upstairs refused to pay the bus fare, and so he refused to move! right, this is what you get when you have two equally stubborn and persistent people. well, since they both refuse to give in, all the rest of the passengers got down to take the next bus, after about 15 minutes. i don't know how the matter resolved in the end, but are you sure making all the innocent people pay twice just because one idiot refuse to pay is the best solution??
still on the topic of bus to school, a few weeks ago as i was going to school as usual, this old woman got on the bus i was on, and not only did she not pay the bus fare, she went up to almost every passenger, stuck out her hand in front of their face and asked them for 2 dollars for her to buy kopi! and she stayed in the bus and did so for passenger who got on. yeah i'm just cursing that she'll get caffeine poisoning from overdose or something!
yawn... i think i need the caffeine more than she needs it.. yawn...
and once again i have the whole house to myself when exam's nearing, but this time i have no tv, no sofa, no fridge, no microwave, no dining table!! and no washing machine (so i guess i'm not expected to do housework, haha), basically i have my room intact and all the other bedrooms as well, it shall be my hideout.

happy april fools! i guess we're all too old for that already.

已经长大的约定 那样珍惜
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清 你是友情
还是错过的爱情

now i see how studying abroad is such a hassle, and that's because i didn't strike toto or 4d and have all the money in the world. well, more or less settled air tickets, accommodation and study loan and now left with the major headache called fyp. and everybody's "enthusiasm" (or more aptly known as "kiasu-ness") shocked the profs when we flooded their offices. wth, just want to settle it asap and not spend hours thinking about it.
yeah, i'm gradually transforming from a gym rat to a lab mouse haha..

如果天使下凡让我许下三个愿望，我希望她能抹去我一切的回忆，让我重新开始生活，我希望她能把忧伤从我新生活的字典中删除，让我快乐地度过每一天，我希望她能飞到你身旁，也让你许下三个愿望......
但现实生活中没有天使，也没有所谓的童话般的爱情故事。

heard the youtube anti-triple sharing song on radio last night!! can't believe they actually played it on public radio!! haha no doubt it has made headlines in the past few weeks but i must say it's pretty embarrasing to hear it on public radio. ok, i do applaud whoever who created the video, good one there, really, but i think they should get someone who can sing better. haha

honestly i don't really care about triple room or not, since it's not going to affect me anyway, but are students protesting for a real cause? or merely because every other guy says no with a capital 'N'? i dare to say with confidence that not hundred percent of the student population are against the idea, but facing a overpowering opposition force, who dares to voice out their opinion? i believe the solution lies in the freedom of choice, let students choose whether they want single, double or triple. there are poor students out there, especially international students who are just looking for a roof over their head with four walls and a door, good location and good price. yes i'm saying that because i am going to be one soon!! i seriously don't mind triple sharing if it cuts the price by a reasonable amount. come on, ntu's hall is really cheap as compared to 400 sing dollar a month for a 12m sq double room over at bj, and it's 10km from the hospital where we are going to intern at. freaking expensive la! well, keeping my fingers crossed...

seems like the cost of living has always been rising. everything's getting freaking expensive.. petrol, school fees, daily necessities, air tickets!! why don't i see my pay rising?? hurhur

oh yes, today is world down syndrome day. why? think trisomy 21. (really, not joking)

hmmm AHM anyone?

sitting in front of the comp waiting for the sun to rise, the sat 8.30am lesson to start and digesting the macs breakfast delivered at around 6am (very impressed by their efficiency and how the delivery guy managed to find his way here!) and still sipping the coffee that has already turned cold hoping that the caffeine can keep me awake for the long day today..
getting sick of school but do i have a choice. better treasure the last 4 weeks before it's over..
meanwhile i'm glad to be able to run again.. phew.. yeah time to not take those trivial things for granted..

最遥远的距离莫过于天涯海角，而是在身边却无法感觉你的存在。
如果说一切都是注定的安排，又何必去强求何必等待。
失去后才懂得珍惜，跌倒后才可以爬起。
把以往收集成回忆深埋在心底，
偶尔重温那美丽的过去，
毕竟那就是人生。
祝幸福。

ok, time to bathe and go for class...

purely random....

being loved is hard,
to love is harder,
and to not love is even harder...
so why torture ourselves over this four-letter word?
give it up babe, just give it up..

给昨天的我一个拥抱曾经她不知如何是好
若我们再见我会微笑
谢谢你谢谢你我嚐过爱的好

meanwhile i declare myself a total computer idiot and is becoming more certain that things go missing in my house. where the hell is the recovery disk and other stuff that came with the laptop??

for the last 2 years of MR500, i brought back medals. this year, i brought back a collection of memories. definitely not the best race, perhaps the worst, but i'm not asking for more. competed and completed my t2 race, not too bad afterall, right partner? haha
yes, times have changed, and who wouldn't have realised the lack of your presence in the boat, your voice, your spirit, your strength...
i have to admit the best times in uni life were probably the times we spent together, as a team, the insane twice a day trainings, the dragon boat races, dinners, lunches, not forgetting the sleepless nights doing farewell gifts, the drinking sessions, mugging sessions...
but everything that has a beginning has an end.
as i was walking there on sunday morning, as i looked into the tranquility of the morning water, it just occured to me all of a sudden...

微风掠过的湖面，
又泛起了涟漪。
雨水打过的小草，
又得到了生命。
太阳一样从东边升起，
音乐一样响着。
但有谁知道
这水中含着多少血和汉
埋藏了多少颗炽灼的心。

也许，这一切就叫做回忆。

heartache. literally and physically. and the doctor at medical centre didn't really do a good job in convincing me that there's nothing wrong. it's been almost a week already and i can barely run 100meters before being forced to stop by the excruciating pain. perhaps it's telling me something, i guess it's time..

“云无心以出岫，鸟倦飞而知还。”
“善万物之得时，感吾生以行休。"

coming to think of it, if i'm a terrorist on the loose and being singapore's most wanted man, why the hell will i want to be hiding in the jungle fighting with the monkeys for food and shelter, living in fear the lightening will strike me or a durian will fall from the tree, either dropping on my head and killing me or providing me something to eat. will i even risk going out trying to disguise as someone else and attempting to walk without limping?
i will either run straight out of the country before anyone can realise, or hide in the comfort of someone's house, or get locked up in a supermarket, or i will just chop off my leg and pour acid over my face. come on, if he's smart enough to escape, he's smart enough to hide
disclaimer: police don't come after me cos although i do stay at the bbnaturepark/hillview/railwaytracks/oldfordroadfactory area i have nothing to do with the case at all, just my comments.
on another note and not going to elaborate, i do hope you guys can be more effecient cos i do hope to see the case close before i leave.

last MR race this weekend.. ntu'e' (????) got so many boats or not??

time for another textbook and set of notes to go up the shelf to collect dust. it also means last 6 weeks of school left. my feelings? not much honestly. guess the feeling of numbness and indifference is overpowering. whatever..
i want to sing my heart out, i want to get high and get drunk like there's no tomorrow, i want to lose my mind, i want to get back the feeling of waking up every morning having no plans for the day. basically i just want to watch each day go past, counting down...
been thinking of getting a tattoo, but i'm almost certain my mom will disown me if i do get one.
on a more practical note, there are some things i want to do before i leave, or rather, makan places that i want to try out. chocolate buffet, buffet at ahangri-la, oriental, hanabi (though there are quite bad reviews), newton circus (i haven't eaten there before!!), jb for makan trip!! seafood!! durians!! indian food!! jap food!! dimsum!! desserts!! ice-cream!! and the list goes on..
meanwhile, i really want to sleep.. tired...zzzzz...zz...z....

maybe the recess week is meant for us to appreciate school more. it has been boring and i shall not elaborate on my agony of trying so hard to study. and it's already friday! omg! how did time even pass so fast?
now everybody is talking about fyp, air tickets, accommodation, study loan etc etc, not that i don't care but what can i do? right now i'm just feeling a little relieved that viro test has been postponed and thus allowing me to enjoy post-comp dinner. and a bit more stupid and convinced that i'm not a business student with dad's brilliant idea, yes, for once he actually thought of something useful. not breaking any rules, just playing around with it haha.
and i'm quite sure my lappie's going to crash soon, let's see who goes first..

你說過牽了手就算約定

但親愛的那並不是愛情

就像來不及許願的流星

再怎麼美麗也只能是曾經

now this is the second time in this month that i've read the sentence "getting less than 5 hours of sleep increases your risk of getting type 2 diabetes by 50%" from different sources. apparently there was a study done and claimed that insufficient sleep reduces your body's ability to tolerate glucose. and complemented with family history from both sides, my mom has been cursing and scolding me that i will definitely get diabetes next time if i don't cut down on my sugar intake. sounds threatening huh? but do i care? does that mean if i sleep more and eat less sweet stuff i will definitely not get diabetes?
how many times have i been almost knocked down by cars (at the exact same junction somemore) and just on monday i almost got killed right outside my school as i walked through the driveway and the carpark entry gate (or rather the pole or whatever you call that) came down right in front of my face and missed me by an inch.
ok, whatever..
yeah i'm trying, i really am

a new year resolution or resolutions of any sort is nothing more than an empty promise to yourself. so this time i refuse to make any resolutions, i will just wake up and be glad i can breathe the fresh air of a brand new day.
thanks for the discouragement, for giving me false hope, thanks for the humiliation, thanks for giving me hell, for crushing my dreams. thanks for giving up on me, for i've already given up on myself.

i may be hard to get, but i'm not hard to please.
so thank you.
and goodbye...

it had to come and haunt me even in my dreams, yes my greatest fear. i don't know whether to be glad or sad that i woke up in the middle of it, realising it's only a dream. i was so close to seeing myself facing the ugly truth, but even in my dreams i didn't have the courage. who are you? do you really exist in this real world? is there really someone who can see who i am inside? who can give me encouragement instead of scolding? whom i can confide in, who can show me the meaning of care and concern. it has been almost a week but the images of that dream is still vivid in my mind. why did i have to wake up so soon?
如果曾经拥有比失去痛苦，我宁愿一无所有

i'm back from my cny escape to melbourne, and more appreciative of the ozone layer and consistent (and warm) singapore climate. and i'm going to set a new cny trend by starting with trng early today morning after minimal exercise for the past week, and not doing any visiting, gosh, i think i'm really getting old.
so here's a brief summary with pictures of my holiday..
day 0 (31st Jan) spent the morning in school and afternoon doing last minute packing before heading for the airport and flew off in the evening. flew to perth and spent the wee hours sleeping in the international airport before taking a shuttle to the domestic airport and a early morning domestic flight. did nothing more than the 3 usual activities of sleep, watch movie and eat. finally reached melbourne slightly past noon after the transit and time difference on day 1 (1st Feb). rented the car and found our way to the resort at which we stayed for the next 7 days. the place is about 90km south of melbourne, near the start of the Great Ocean Road, and quite hard to find cos it wasn't on the street directory. kind of outback feeling with wild kangaroos as our friendly neighbour. but the resort itself was like a house with everything we need - living room with tv, dining room, full kitchen with everything from utensils to toaster and dishwasher, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and balcony. it will be perfect if there was internet connection. so day 1 was spent settling down, doing grocery shopping and planning our next few days iterneries.

the house and the surrounding

majority of day 2 (2nd Feb) was spent in the car, travelling west along the great ocean road, stopping along beaches for some sun, sand and sea, and gradually and finally made our way to the 12 apostles. it was a damn hot day, leaving me burnt despite me desperately applying at least 3 layers of sunblock.

the process

and the product

those black stuff are not pebbles, they are baby clams

cooling ourselves down with icecream at the lighthouse


yay we finally reached the 12 apostles! (and there are a hell lot of flies there!)




some random photos along the way
know i see the literal meaning of the phrase "till the cows come home" haha

day 3 (3rd Feb) we went to Geelong, which is Victoria's second largest city to visit the sunday market and did some shopping. that was after feeding the animals at the resort in the morning.




day 4 (4th Feb) we drove downtown to melbourne city for city tour, some shopping and the traffic police are really going a great job cos we parked the car at this parking lot during the "clear" period and it got towed away!! had quite a frustrating 'adventure' trying to locate the place to collect the car and of course the fine wasn't cheap.. yeah yeah now i'm the one being blamed cos i wanted to do shopping. fine.



these photos are taken in university of melbourne. and it was the second and last hot day in my one-week trip. the weather took a drastic change and it got colder and colder.. brrrr...

day 5 (5th Feb) was the longest journey to our destination : phillip island, but it was certainly worth it. took a ferry to cut short the driving route on our way there and took about 3 hours to drive back in the dark. the roads were damn dark and had to keep my eyes wide opened to look out for the road signs and safety (though i wasn't the one driving)



it was a long long journey..
and we finally reached phillip island. visited the koala conservation centre first, then the nobbies and finally the penguin parade at sunset (which is around 9pm).


these lazy animals sleep 20 hours a day! that's like the amount of hours i sleep in 4 days haha


taken on the journey to the nobbies, those footprints in the sand should belong to penguins..



at the nobbies, the wind was very strong and i was trying to keep myself warm with that pathetic piece of cloth. nice scenery there with lots of seagulls and supposedly seals too.
the day ended with the penguin parade. sat down along the beach since around 8pm to wait for the sun to set, the sky to get dark before the penguins emerge out of the sea and waddle their way up the beach and back to the shore. no photos cos cameras not allowed at all, but the penguins were sooooo adorable, and they 'walk' exactly like how people imitate them, forming groups and quickly make their way up the beach to their 'homes'. it was really a sight seeing so many cute little penguins so close to you

day 6 (6th Feb) was spent looking for gold at ballarat's sovereign hill, where we were brought back to the gold rush era in the 1850s, when people literally dig for gold.




oh yeah they had chinese physicians back then too.. (argh, seems like those stuff follow me wherever i go)

digging for..

gold!!
and we didn't forget it's cny eve, so we headed back early and did more grocery shopping on our way back for a "reunion dinner"

mom busy in the kitchen cooking



the greedy ones waiting with my cheap thrill vodka cruiser haha

our simple dinner!

day 7 (7th Feb) it's the first day of chinese new year and it's my mom's 50th birthday!! started the day with breakfast at the resort's reception. satisfied my carbs craving with free flow of toast (with jam, baked beans, mushroom) see, i'm easily satisfied, i don't need the eggs, bacon and sausages.


the birthday girl and finally a proper family photo.
headed off for yarra valley where we bought some fruits and visited wineries for wine tasting.


wine comes from grapes

and that's yarra valley

saying farewell to our new friends..

day 8(8th Feb) last day in australia. packed bag, tidied the house a bit and off we went, to queen victoria market first (cos it was closed on mondays when we went) then to the airport.
the place is huge and they sell everything! from meat, fruits, vege to clothes, souvenirs etc etc and the fruits there was damn cheap, like a dollar per kg for plums, peaches etc. we bought a box of cherries and lots of other fruits. oh yes, i finally got to eat fresh krispy kreme at the airport, it was good, very sweet and soft but not say that heavenly. but it's freaking expensive! costs 2.25, 2.50 or 2.75 aussie dollar each! i bought a original and a filled (which adds up to 30g of fat acc to their website) for 5 bucks!! and then it's on the plane and 7 hours straight for singapore..

that's my trip to melbourne and beyond. i must mention the last 3 days was damn cold! i soak myself in the bathtub every night and wrap myself with all the blankets (total of 4 layers) and still wake up freezing cos i don't produce heat. erm actually it's only about 10 to 20 degrees but it's cold enough to make my hair stand, turn my nails purple and my skin to feel the frost bite. gosh, how am i going to survive the real snowing winters?

i'll be off to the airport in half an hour's time.
and i'm actually worried about skipping 3 days of school.
and you made me disheartened when i'm just about to see a little hope.
what more do you want?

last night i finally experienced the power of tcm!!
as i was frantically doing last minute studying for my test and my upper back was hurting like crazy, the usual plae below the shoulder blades, probably because i've been at the table for the whole day in all sorts of incorrect positions. i tried stretching, massaging and was close to popping painkillers to ease the pain temporarily, until i decided to give my acupuncture needles a try again. and so i took out the second shortest one, cleaned it, located the most painful spot and poked it in using my right hand into my left upper back. and it went in. not only that, when i manage to get the whole needle in (which is only an inch, at most an inch and a half) i felt something i've never experienced before... it felt like an electric shock going down my spine, followed by a moment of numbness. the feeling extended to the whole of my right arm and hand, which felt weak for a while. and as i began to bring my right hand down to the neutral position, i felt the sore-ness, right at the acupoint. the feeling was like trying to stretch a strained muscle when you have muscle-ache. usually people lie down or sit still during acupuncture, and i've never been acu-ed before by a professional, so did i do the right thing? or did i almost tear my muscle? as i was unsure and my movement was rather restricted as i couldn't move about freely without feeling the sore, i took it out after 10 minutes.
the result? well, my back didn't hurt that much for the night until i fell asleep, and this morning my left shoulder felt much more relaxed and didn't hurt at all while running, instead, my right shoulder felt the usual ache. but i think the pain is coming back gradually, though much milder and bearable. wow i see my future career! and that's certainly more exciting and useful than memorizing chunks of theory which is only stored in my ultra-short-term memory.
be my second guinea pig anyone?? haha

i...
- have a test tomorrow morning which i'm only halfway through reading (not to mention memorizing)
- am flying off tomorrow evening which i haven't started packing!!
- am going to drive a manual car there and i haven't touched the steering wheel for erm almost a year i think
- haven't bought new clothes, new shoes etc etc for cny
- haven't done anything for cny except eating cny goodies
- haven't made up my mind whether to sign up for sundownmarathon
- want to join x-physique but it's so damn expensive
- can't seem to concentrate
- can't seem to get my priorities right
- am basically so screwed

brought my pink dolphin back to where it came from last sunday, together with my shortie raptor and me, we completed 29km. what we used to call kallang river is now known as marina reservoir, the police coast guard is gone, but the s'pore flyer is up, together with the floating platform and constructions for the IR all around it. and the duck tours are still quacking up and down, and i could have been sandwiched by 2 of them, one coming from the front and one from the back at the same time and would have been a perfect sandwich had i not paddled as hard as i could for dear life and the boats did steer a bit so as to avoid me. phew... never liked the duck tours especially when you're one of the tourist attractions, feels like an animal in the zoo haha.
ok, back to the race.. my longest canoe race, my first time attempting portage, and probably the last time i get to row at kallang again. and i was quite prepared for the journey: cap, sunglasses, lots of sunblock, changed to a low seat and most importantly my little cushion for the seat which was so useful in protecting my delicate butt. haha. and if you're wondering what's my greatest fear for this race, it's none other than kallang water, and that's why i chose to take k1 in the end, to overcome the phobia. as i look at the namelist for senior women k1, i made a conclusion. they are either the really zai ones, or the insane ones, of course i belong to the latter.
the water conditions weren't too bad, though at some parts i felt as if i was going to be blown away by sudden gushes of wind and backwash was inevitable, especially at the start. gosh, that was probably the worst it could get. portage was quite an experience and i did try to run for every portage, and it sure wasn't easy carrying a boat, paddle and running on sand. and i think i've a blueblack on my shoulder now..
but overall, i quite enjoyed the race, and that's enough. no longer hungry for medals, no longer wanting to see competitors as enemies, afterall, it's just a race.. knowing that there is no need to fear the choppy water, and that the wind could not blow me down, it was a race against myself, my own fears, and me -- my worst enemy. and i won. no regrets
now i'm just one step closer to retirement, next up is MR500, then SDBF and maybe NCC.. just want to make my canoeing life as complete as possible by trying every event, every boat

it's d-day in 8 hours' time.
it's time for me to face my fears...

finally paid a visit to the dentist and got my hair trimmed yesterday. and phew.. my sweet tooth (or rather teeth) are perfectly fine after making them suffer through sweet, salty, hot and cold and not getting them cleaned for 3 years! and visiting the dentist certainly is not an enjoyable experience. really pity those doing surgery or root canal etc and having to keep their mouth open for hours with the suction tube sucking away all the saliva, not forgetting the pain they have to go through. i really should be glad my wisdom teeth are popping out fine so far and i don't need to wear braces.
and hairdressers never fail to make the same comment that i have thinning hair. yes i know i'm balding!!
and prices are increasing everywhere, especially now when cny is near. well, it's always good to know more people, especially those around the neighbourhood for something called discount. haha (i'm secretly a super-auntie in disguise)
i think the scorching sun today mutated all my cells and make me mentally 15 years younger and physically 50 years older when i played catching with my sis in the pool today. tiring leh..

having a free day in the middle of the week felt like a mini-weekend, especially when my weekends are packed with trainings and work so much so that my books and notes remain in my bag untouched till monday. decided to be a good daughter and went chinatown with mom yesterday to change money and to get into the chinese new year atmosphere. nothing spectacular, just the normal stuff on sale and definitely getting more and more expensive each year, and 1 buck can only get you 6 hum jing pangs instead of 7 at maxwell. haven't shopped for new year clothes and not intending to dedicate an afternoon just for that. somehow as you grow older, the excitement of cny gradually dies down. other than the angpaos, there's really nothing much to look forward to. well, this year i'm going to have a very different cny. in conjunction with mom's 50th birthday, which happens to fall on the exact same day, we're going for a one-week holiday to melbourne! so do let me know if there's anything good to buy back..
one more week till january ends, let february come and take away my poverty, especially when i worked so many days this month, and the angpaos, and my allowance for the sem! let february bring me the courage and determination. let january end before i do..

yesterday was a bright and sunny tgif at sentosa after a morning of lessons. suppose to be a picnic-cum-belated-birthday celebration but our initial plan of potluck was rather unsuccessful as we were all too busy to prepare food. ended up having lunch at vivo and bought drinks and chips before heading to the beach. nonetheless, we still had fun playing balls, twister, saboteur, bridge, frisbee, slacking and drifting in the raft, basically taking a break from the books for an afternoon.

yep, that's us
and below are some photos i took using my phone camera while looking after the bags..


wow, the panorama mode is quite powerful, silosa beach can be quite pretty too!

helphelphelphelphelp
sorry for being who i am, sorry for the moodswings. never in a good mood in the morning, especially when trying to be on time for school is an 'exciting' event everyday when it takes about an hour and a half from home to school (without cutting queues) and squeeze my way onto 3 different buses when school is merely 10-15 minutes drive away.
suddenly tempted to run the http://www.sundownmarathon.com/ and the ultramarathon is full?!?! oh man, there are really quite a lot of hardcore runners out there.. and i do like running in the dark, not only because of the cool air and roads with almost no cars, but also because i can wear the oldest and ugliest shirt out, run to the beat of the music and let my emotions run wild...
sometimes i really should be left alone. pillow i need you now...

i thought i had convinced myself that perfection does not exist. i thought i had grown to accept what i am. apparently not. happyness was transient, so surreal, so painful knowing that everything would be gone once you wake up. i always ask myself why, but i haven't found the answer.. why am i doing all these? is it worth it? why am i constantly bringing myself to self-destruction? drawing myself closer to death? when can i stop? when will i ever learn?
it's been one and a half weeks of school already and as usual i spend at least 80 percent of the time caged up in that little classroom. i believe school's quite happening in the spines, but do i care?
the blood drive is in school again this week and donating blood used to be a regular thing for me to do, makes me feel good especially on emo days. but now i can't.. sigh.. see, now even my blood is worthless, guess i'm just a pure good-for-nothing now..
i need the courage, to find out what is happiness, to find out what is love, for myself...

the first week of school for my pseudo-final semester has just passed (cos i have no lessons tmr) and that means honeymoon week is over. and here's a very brief summary of my last holidays, before i get too busy and forgot about what i did.
basically, i did nothing. waking up in the morning and deciding that it was a good day to slack at home was like a daily routine, and i certainly followed my decision. well, it may be a waste of time, but i don't think i will have the pleasure of having so much time again. went kukup on the weekend before school started with the programmers. the houses were all kelong-like, built above water (or rather mud during low tide). mudskippers, crabs, flies were the most common creatures around. the resort that we stayed in was pretty decent, enough rooms with 3 sets of mahjong and many karaoke vcds, and i'm very thankful there's heater in the bathroom, but i really think they should improve on the cleaniness, especially when flies never fail to wait for their chance to blatantly attack the food and i think there are little insects on the mattresses. the old-school-style toilet was very interesting, it leads straight into the sea and standing outside the house, suddenly seeing liquid flowing down from the floor into the sea, you will know what people are doing in the toilet. leftover food, dump-able rubbish all goes into the sea. and what comes from the sea? the crabs and prawn on our plates perhaps. haha. a change of environment, but basically the same activities. ktv, mahjong, cards, movies, eat, sleep, talk. truly satisfied my cravings for ktv and seafood. for both nights we had bbq for dinner, lots of stingray and prawns, all sambal and lunch was at the restaurant in the main street. playing with fireworks was another highlight. quite pricey but fun. and how can we forget beer for the night? on the last day, we took a bus out to play paintball. another first time for me, messy and dangerous but not bad.
it was kind of a mini retreat and with close to 40 people under one roof, it's hard to run out of things to do. and it is probably due to this lack of planned activities that promotes bonding. overall it was an enjoyable trip. re-join the programmer comm? a bit hard la, with my packed yet uncertain schedule for this semester.

that was probably the most happening thing for the holidays. now it's back to school. taking public transport to school for early morning lessons never fail to be a torture and i have never been on time for lessons yet. how interesting can lessons get and i don't know whether to feel glad or scared that i've found, tried and tested a way to keep myself awake for the whole day.
land trainings have also resumed and it's time to pump those lazy muscles and bones again. with the lack of exercise and building up of age, my whole body is aching. but it feels good though, at least i know my muscles are still in existence. better train up lungs and stamina for the 29km of rowing too. my first and last canoemarathon, more for personal challenge and satisfaction to complete my canoeing career than anything else.

can't live without it and can't live on with it

(and yes i'm finally playing with facebook, hurhur)