today's probably the busiest and most productive day for fyp, rather fruitful as well. finally got down to doing the proper experiments of feeding and testing my little mice. they weigh only about 10g on average! felt a tinge of sadness and sympathy seeing them so helplessly running around, and heard the pain in their cries as we clip their toes and tails. felt so sorry for them.
at the end of it, it's the thing called feelings that makes everything the way they are. always been wondering do people change or do feelings change, or both.
some things can never be the same again no matter how we try to ignore and hide away from them, i know i've changed, for the better or for the worse i do not know. i used to be so good at hiding secrets, so good at lying through my teeth without feeling a sense of guilt. i can't do so anymore. if there's anything that hasn't changed, it's the way i lie to myself. perhaps i should just take things simple, learn to laugh, learn to love, learn to experience the happiness of zeng jing yong you.
last dragon boat race tmr..
meanwhile trying to familiarize myself with my new macbook. pure prettyness!

because i was bored...

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date. But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal? It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky. Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional. You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it. You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out. Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable. Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there. You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

hmmmm true to a certain extent

this is pretty outdated considering that today's already thurs, but yeah, spent last saturday afternoon at sentosa with over 400 other bikini-clad girls for the record breaking photoshoot. we just sat on the sand, or rather lied down on the sand because there weren't enough people i guess, in the formation of 'CLEO', with those elegible bachelors serving us water and sunblock, and some girls beside me were touching up on their makeup while i was already melting in the hot sun! ok, this was the most bimbo thing i've done so far, but i have to admit, it's pretty fun and so simple.

lulu and i



part of the letter 'O'



happy with our free goodie bag after the whole thing.



and our free tuky-tuky!!

batam

last friday,i escaped from lab, took my passport and took a 1hour long ferry ride to batam. the whole journey started with a bang, thanks to someone who was 40 minutes late and we had to run into the boat just minutes before the departure time when they were announcing our names over the PA system. so embarassing la!!

that's stewed and i on the ferry there, the girl who almost got all of us to miss the ferry!! lousy!! haha
upon reaching, our first stop was none other than breakfast to fill our starving tummies. due to the time difference, it was only around 8am batam time when we reached.
next was the highlight of the trip - go kart. we took a rather long walk there in the early morning sun, quite a nice stroll though, and every taxi that drove past us stopped to ask if we need a cab. not surprising. finally walked past the cable-ski park and reached the go-kart circuit. it looked quite rundown with no water supply in the toilets. 18 bucks for 10 mins. very expensive indeed, but since we were already there just go for it. the circuit was quite uneven and bumpy and why must they discriminate against people with short legs?? i had to tip toe to push the accelerator all the way in la! and i can self declare myself being the safest driver! no stunts, just trying my best to avoid all the puddles of water so as not to get dirty.


after that, we took the most expensive cab ride for the day to nagoya. it's a small town with shopping and food. it was still early for lunch but who can resisit this:

oooohhh so yummy!!!

upsized rootbeer float!!!



we walked around the shopping centre before deciding to split half, 3 of us went to walk incredible hulk, while the other 3 went for massage. the movie tickets were super cheap!! 15,000 rupiah, which equates to less the SGD 2.50!! and the cinema is comparable to those here. did a bit of shopping after that before heading for lunch, or was is tea or dinner? whichever.

that's where we went for seafood, i felt sorry for the cab driver who took us there for SGD6, that equates to 1 buck per person because the 6 of us squeezed into 1 cab.
we ordered a steamd fish, cereal prawn, black pepper crab, sotong, chicken, kangkong, toufu and fried rice, not forgetting the freeflow of white rice. we sure were hungry to finish up every bit of it.

that's only part of the food, fish and chicken were missing.



with stomachs full, it was time to head back. took the same cab to batam centre and got the tickets for 1830 back to Singapore. seems like we have not learnt our lesson to board the ferry early. we went shopping again at the megamall there and had to run back to the terminal and ran up to the ferry!
yup, that's the end of our batam slacking trip!

yummy donuts from jco, and definitely much cheaper than singapore.

erm don't ask me what's up with them. they just had to be funny.

a busy week has just passed, busy in the fun way that is. for those who are interested in my life, here's a brief summary of it. monday to wednesday was purely fyp and work. thurs night went wala wala and almost deafened by the music. friday was spent at batam with my 6e classmates, just chilling around. saturday was busy rushing from one place to another, gym in the morning, sentosa in the afternoon and work at night. and today, work, db trng and then went out for dinner. i foresee a very busy week ahead again. now that my mice have grown up and i can finally start on my project proper, my prof is going for a one month holiday! and i don't have any mentors or seniors doing similar projects. i'm horrified! faints!
and this is probably the most i've exercised in a week so far. swam, ran, gymmed, rowed. i know its nothing compared to the last-time me, but it's a lot for the superlazy me now. oh man, just hope i can move and get out of bed tomorrow morning.

and i must say this, though it may sound too mushy and gives you goosebumps. I LOVE MY DAD TO BITS!!!! after whining that he's got no father's day gift from me, cos he wasn't in s'pore last weekend, he came back from the states with a new macbook, itouch and ipod shuffle!! love the mac and touch. soooooo pretty!!!! and obviously he is aware that his daughter is a computer idiot that he told me not to use the mac first until he asks the experts to set it up for me. alright, even better value-added service. and i'm selling the shuffle, 1GB, silver in colour, brand new and unopened. anyone interested before i put it up for auction? well, it was a door gift from the conference i guess and i already have one. very good for running.

ok, i think i'm so blessed, and i can declare myself as the world's bmm! haha.

guess it's time to hit the pillow and rest my old bones, will update my happening week with photos when i do have time..

天上的眼泪
他好像懂我的心碎
懂得轻轻给我一些安慰
我们应该要了解
伤了心有种爱的美
天上的彩虹
总出现在天晴雨过
我已经懂得轻轻的放手
就算我觉得难过
你会在我身边守候
陪我一起去看彩虹

the meaning of suay is when i finally decided to go for a swim this morning, even brought my sun tanning oil, and the sky suddenly decided to turn dark and in less than half an hour, lightning and thunder striked.
the meaning of suaku is that i didn't know that citylink and suntec is now linked by an underpass which has been there for a few months already. looks like i've done a good job hiding at home.
wanted to buy the oral sunblock yesterday, but freaking expensive la!!
looks like i've to get my mac from s'pore already. don't be tricked by their 'ship within 24hrs', the actual 'delivery' to your doorstep is a few more days later! pui!

seems like my intention of getting a tan has brought the rain instead,
是否太晚路已走远
我的眼眶泪太满
走不回你身边
你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现
谁能体谅我的雨天
此刻脚步会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

this may just have been the busiest weekend so far, running around the island occupied with different activities. the major event was seniors camp, which i went for about half of the events. being a wondering ghost is fun, except for the heat in the stuffy room in my ghostly outfit and no toilet in the whole area! and i am white enough to save the trouble of powdering my face, how about that.. but that may just be the end of my white-ness, hours under the midday sun yesterday was enough to leave my skin red and prickly, especially the shoulders, and after 2 weekends of db to come, i think i will be back to my original colour soon.
and how can i forget sbs research lab's happy hour on friday? this time it was organised by my lab. beer, chips, nuts, icecream, chocolate, fruits etc. etc. no prize for guessing, i was just there for the food and drinks.


brewerkz golden ale!!! good stuff!!

wanted to check out the gadgets at the pc show on sat morning but wth, they only open at 12pm!! so no choice had to go in the evening, and as expected, the horrible crowd!! almost impossible to walk without being blocked by ppl. faints.. best thing is i didn't buy anything at all from there. most prob asking my dad to help me get from the US. father's day = father buy me a new lappie?? hahaha when it comes to this type of things, i admit i'm superficial. i will just choose the prettiest-looking one =)
finally in lab again, and mom had to wake me up twice this morning, and for both times i asked her what day it was today and took at least a minute or two to register. i think i left my mind at camp still.

是唱出了心中的感慨，让音乐弥漫这空间？还是只是借助歌曲来表达不曾也不敢说出的心情，填补心中的空虚？
the reality of the unspoken truth, the simplicity in such complexity.
或许大家都在寻找一个答案，还是只是逃避现实？

c'est la vie

at this rate, i think i can finish watching my collections of movies in lab! just some photos of my babies..

at birth

one week old.
so now i'll just waiting for them to grow up before carrying out experiments on them.
just finished watching the final episode of healing hands 3 online cos i missed it yesterday on tv, and now entertaining myself with songs. and not forgetting kept wide awake with coffee to keep myself awake during this morning's lab meeting.
yesterday was the first time opening the lab door in the early morning because we didn't know the usual monday lab meeting was postponed to today. prof was on leave and when the cat's away, the mice come out to play! watched movie and disappeared after lunch for some singing! kbox's student promo is really quite worth it, considering the free flow of soft drinks and freshly fried tapas. who cares about the oil. however, amidst all the school children on holiday, i really feel old. and i guess the staff were too busy entertaining those little kids to chase us away, if not we would have had dinner at aston! well, there's always another day! walked around the pasar malam after that before heading back to school just to sit in for gm for fun.

last night felt as if time was tuned back to a few years ago, when we were a good young age of 18, in the good old mt sinai campus. those beautiful memories, and those silly things that we did, and not forgetting the gossips that we never knew!! yeah, those were the days!
and yesterday i dug out some of my message histories to read. oh well, people do change, and we have all grown up and matured..
and ouch, my lower body is aching so badly from my 2-hour gym workout yesterday. super unfit and flabby now!!

i am now officially the grandma of 4 baby mice, co-grandma of 2 and step-grandma of 7. grow up babies, quick grow up so that i can proceed with my fyp!!
spent the whole morning attempting to make changes to this blog, but can't find any very nice skins to change, and still have no idea why all the words are in white, and i absolutely don' know how to enable adding of comments!! argh forget it then.
not everyday is friday but today, for those who do read this, anyone wants, or knows of anyone who want monthly disposable contacts, power -4.5 and -5.0?? yes free one whole box before they expire..
yawn, tired, let ignorance accompany me into my dreams..

perhaps after so long we have not established the thing called trust. you never fail to amuse me, or shall i say disappoint me this time round, and welcome me to your world of stubborn-ness. pardon me if what i write is too vague, or cheem, or hard to understand, it's probably just the way things are. two extremes may just be separated by a faint line or border.
this is totally random and created out of boredom:

走在布满落叶的道路，看不清前方的方向。
回头看看踩过的过往，
是金色的回忆还是枯黄的创伤？

你说那是大树的眼泪，我说那是道路的衣裳。
还是他所谓老天的玩笑，
让这大自然也变得如此荒唐。

只有在半睡半醒中才得到这样的释放，
原有的枫叶只是隐藏
那说不出又猜不透美丽的谎。

风徐徐地吹过那流过泪的脸庞，
吹醒了宁睡的心
以及那不符合实际的希望。

天上没有天使，地上也没有帝王，
人间没有爱神，
更没有美丽的童话歌谣在歌唱。

请不要再让我陷入那深奥的漩涡，请让我的无知换来这短暂的幸福。

my daily routine now can be just simplified as school, work, sleep. ok, i shouldn't be complaining because at least i'm keeping myself occupied and earning money, though it's damn damn boring. and i really shouldn't be complaining since i'm quite enjoying my life now, especially the crazy things i've done these few days. food hunts through the night, board games cos we're bored, and finally ktv and even pool for someone who has totally no ball sense!
FYP is progressing slowly, now that we're done with brewing herbs, most of my time is spent in the lab office reading and writing. and occasionally going down to visit my mice. i have 2 wildtype pups now!!
i didn't know i'm so good at summarizing, or should i say i'm just lazy to blog

long weekend's over and it's back to school, back to the lab tmr. although it's only been a week and although it's otot, the thought of going to sch everyday is kind of sian. yeah, that's the perfect word for it.
just found out today that round ubin is in june, which clashes with seniors camp!! seriously for the past 3 years no matter when is it, it will clash with something. a bit tempted to row but i haven't been exercising at all! and by right i can't touch water for another 2 weeks.
for general health purposes, i think i should start exercising and get A BIT of sun again. believe it or not but the last time i gymmed was before MR, the last time i rowed was more than 2 weeks ago. and on the average i run once a week now. that's all.

why are there still so many people in school when it's holidays now? and the morning traffic has not changed a bit. luckily i'm quite free and easy, can come and go anytime i want. brought my lappie today for research and to keep me company in lab, and here i am, waiting for time to pass.
went down to the animal house for the first time yesterday to take a look. it was quite smelly and ppl working there have to be covered from head to toe - cap, mask, gown, gloves, socks. (so environmental unfriendly right?) mice to researchers is just like any other specimen or reagents, what do you do to the excess? throw it away. what do you do to the unwanted mice? pick them up by their tail, put them in a yellow plastic bag, write and sign a termination form, into the gas chamber they go, the chamber closes, co2 is turned on, they struggle and tried to jump out for a few seconds before collapsing and lie motionless. off to the biohazard bin they go eventually..
went down again today, got a cage of mice for myself and today is day 1 of their mating. now i'm just waiting for my mutant baby mice to arrive...

Yesterday was my second time walking into an operating theatre. (The first time was about 8 years ago when in actual fact I limped in and out of the OT to excavate an ingrown toenail.) This time was for lasik.

Booked the appointment last week and decided to conduct the evaluation and the surgery on the same day to save trouble. As with all operations, no lotions, creams, makeups, perfumes whatsoever was allowed. pretty easy on the getting ready to get out of house part, but i felt so 'naked' walking around in town. (when was the last time you went out to town from home with nothing on your face or hair?)
Reached there pretty early for the evaluation, which lasted more than 2 hours. this is how it went briefly. First, I was asked to fill up my particulars and then waited to be called into the examination area, where a series of eye-power, eye-pressure and cornea tests were done. Eye power test was easy and quite standard. Eye-pressure test was 'shocking' in that a sudden gust of air was shot out into the eye multiple times, i couldn't help but jump at each shot, but luckily it was fast. the cornea test was quite tiresome. it's basically a test to measure the thickness of cornea and hence deduce the suitability for lasik. i don't know if it's the problem of my eyes or is it quite standard for everyone, but it was a long process of "blink, blink, blink followed by open your eyes as big as possible and don't blink for 5 counts". the optimetrist even asked me to rest my eyes before continueing. alright, maybe my eyes are really quite small. after that, some eyedrops were instilled to dilate the pupils and a video on lasik was shown. it was then followed by the last round of tests to confirm the previous results after dilation, before a counseling session was given on the procedure, risks, post-surgery care etc. Lastly, I got the see my surgeon, who recommended me to do the intralase standard, which uses laser to cut the cornea flap instead of the normal blade, because my cornea is slightly on the thin side. Of course, it's slightly more expensive but I decided to follow his recommendation since this wasn't the time to get 'suntie' and go for the cheapest possible. The whole procedure, inclusive of waiting time lasted until about 12 noon when i made my payment and went for lunch and some aimless walking for 2 hours before washing my face and heading back to the clinic for surgery.
Upon reaching the clinic again, I was given a final eye-check on my pupils before going into the resting area right outside the operation theatre. there, i was asked to sign the agreement and escorted to my own little cubicle while waiting for my turn. the nurses helped me wear the surgery gown, shoes and cap, and explained to me how to use the eyedrops after the surgery. I must say they are really friendly, polite, young and pretty! Very soon, it was my turn.
The surgeon greeted me and I was asked to lie on the bed. After that, my head was secured by 2 barriers at the side and the nurse instilled some anesthetic eyedrops. I was then pushed under the 'cornea-slicing machine' and the doctor placed a round circular plastic thing in just the right shape to cup my eyeball. It wasn't painful, but rather quite uncomfortable, as though someone is pressing against your eyeball. it momentarily blinded my vision and i heard the doc reciting some numbers and directions and i guess he's looking at the screen when the flap was created on my cornea. The same was done with the left eye.
That was stage 1. Following that, I was pushed and placed under the other machine, which does the actual lasering. The nurse pasted a huge sticker across my face, with a hole in the centre exposing only my right eye. and i felt the doctor pasting 2 more tapes on my upper and lower eyelids respectively, then using some kind of metal tool that keeps my eye opened. I was then instructed to look straight up into the red light while he carefully flipped open the flap and did the lasering. the laser process only lasted for half a minute. I could hear the "tac-tac-tac" of the machine and smell a burning rubber smell. It didn't feel as bad as the first stage, and my sense of sight wasn't removed. When that was done, the doctor put back the flap, smoothened out any possible bubbles and placed a protective contact lens over it. Then came the most painful part - the tearing off of the sticker! I think they helped me with facial hair removal too! haha
The whole process was finished within about 15 minutes, after which my vision was still blur but i managed to walk out of the OT back into my resting area. I sat there for about half an hour, closed my eyes to rest, listened to what the nurse has to say as she helped me out of my OT attire, placed eye shields over my eyes and waited for her to book my appointment for the first review the next day.
Then i was done! That's how simple it is.
I think i must have looked like an alien as i walk to the taxi stand and waited for cab. The cute and pretty nurse was nice enough to send me into the cab.
being an obedient patient, i tried to sleep right after i got back, but it was quite impossible to at 4pm when i had 10 hours of sleep the previous day, and so i took one of the three sleeping pills prescibed and had a good rest till dinner. and having nothing better to do, i went back to sleep at 10 and was wide awake before 4am! i never knew time passes so slowly when i lie on my bed doing nothing. It's definitely not insomnia, it's the symptom of having had 'too much sleep'.

Went back for my first review today and the doctor took out the protective contacts. yay, i'm done! although my eyes are still a bit red and i've to use those lubricating eyedrops every 2 hours and constantly remind myself not to touch my eyes, everything feels and looks good. can't wait to wash my hair and face tomorrow since i'm not allowed to wash them for 48 hours in case of infection from the water. and no water sports for a month, in other words, no trainings!

Yes, I know I should be busy hiding in the lab doing FYP or at least searching for a huge pile of research material to read up on, but i'm doing nothing! Let me just enjoy the last few days of my holiday...

yawn...
the piggie slept from 9pm to 7am last night. the piggie just woke up from afternoon nap, had dinner and thinks it should go back to sleep again. vision's still a bit blurry and eyelids feel heavy and i shouldn't even been looking at the comp screen..
shall update when i'm awake again...
goodnight

tell me how different i am from a pig when majority of my time is spent eating and sleeping, and the cycle repeats. on a typical day i take morning and afternoon naps, and satisfied my ice-cream cravings with 3 big cones on b&j free cone day! ok, i know, at least i read newspapers, watches tv and movies, goes out to shop, and i don't roll around in mud. that's about it.
let me be the pig before i don't get a chance to. and wth the school's system is damn screwed up, now i am suppose to cut myself into 2 and do 2 fyps???
and oh yes, i never learnt my lesson. will i ever?