Following the death of my MacBook, my iPhone went into a coma this morning when it suddenly blanked out and was unresponsive to which ever button that I press. Luckily the singtel guy over the phone was helpful enough to teach me how to force reset the phone and saved me a trip to get it fixed and a day of phone-less misery. Looks like it's not an uncommon problem, well at least I learnt something new today.
Now on housing, mommy says ' 4 room flat is good enough. You're not going to have half a dozen of kids and smaller house easier to clean also.' dearest says 'you're going to convert 1 room into Ktv room, 1 room to walk-in wardrobe, 1 room to store all your shoes, where to sleep?' looks like I have to strike 4d, buy a bungalow and hire a maid or two, haha. Fat hope!

sigh... my macbook that has accompanied me through so many lonely days and nights has died. Still trying to find my recovery disks which I'm very sure are hidden somewhere in the house, and now I'm stuck with using this lousy windows PC which is so slow and so new that nobody bothered to install adobe reader or messenger.
Time to get a new macbook since it's so cheap now.
On a sidenote, at least I'm glad my eyesight is still perfect 3 years after lasik.

after a long and tiring day at work, I'm glad we've got our holidays planned and more or less booked. Although it's nowhere far nor too 'exciting' or exotic, we get our getaway, lots of sun and sea, shopping and eating!! and more importantly, something to look forward to amidst all the mundane everyday work. TGIF!

It's been a long time since I took a bus home straight from work, sit down with mom and sis for a simple dinner, then watching some shows, surfing the net alone in my room before hitting the sack. My life has been too happening? perhaps.
They say one's desire for money is insatiable, I certainly agree. Back in Uni days, I was very contented with the few hundred dollars I earn each month from part-time job, thus not having to take pocket money from parents and would gladly spend every cent of it. Money was meant to be spent wasn't it?
Then when I finally started working full-time, I was so excited about getting my first 4-digit pay and seriously thought of spending it all on a branded handbag, but it never happened. Even up till today, I'm looking at handbag sales online almost everyday, but can't bear to invest so much into it.
And you think I'm a spendthrift? I give more than a third of my take-home pay to my mom and try to save close to 50% of it, because house, wedding, kids and everything else is going to cost a bomb. I've changed haven't I? Nevertheless, I'm still enjoying each day. But in terms of money, am I contented with what I'm earning? I guess I never will be.

如果 命運可以訂做
如果 有另一次選擇
我想我 還是會 把手讓你緊握
快樂地陪你去坎坷

就算 你有天變落魄
就算 你老得不能動
我想我 還是會 挽著你看日落
你的心疼在淚光中

嘴巴上 彼此嫌麻煩
眼神中 關懷那麼滿
沒說愛 卻早已認定一輩子的伴

在人前 從來不浪漫
在心中 卻總為對方打算
最懂的人最暖的伴

就算 我以後變囉嗦
就算 我老了有病痛
我想你 還是會 照顧我到最後
隱藏脆弱不眠不休

沒有辛酸 沒有遺憾
什麼是陪伴 什麼是心安 你是答案

the lyric says it all...

有时候太坚强 笑容却填不满眼眶
越是想要隐藏 歌声就唱的更响亮
直到入到心底最深处
你不要追问我 还缺了些什麽

每个人都有梦 幸福总站在最远方
心中越是渴望 越是不敢伸手拥抱
谁的心是我最后一站
我强问我自己 现在还没有个答案

我不是你想像那麽勇敢
多想让你保护能流泪一场
让我放下武装 像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上

我不是你想像总是扮演坚强
多想让你知道我也要个伴
放下讨厌武装 像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上
我不是你想像的那麽勇敢

yawn... hates mondays esp when it's back to 'normal' traffic and squeezy buses in the morning after school holiday ended. no amount of rest during the weekend can recover a sleep debt.
nah.. shall not let stupid aunties and work ruin my day..

hello world, again.
how long can one's passion last? i wonder.. i had always been wanting to be a doctor, to study medicine, and after so many years of studying, even after all those intensive internships and years in the hospital, i was so sure that i had enough of seeing old and sick people and running around clinics, following senior physicians and putting massive eye power at work. now after months of not in contact with patients, i actually quite enjoy the weekly internship, especially when there's interesting cases every week, and getting tips on how to get around the loopholes of the medical system in singapore. not forgetting my exotic supper cravings after leaving the clinic at near midnight every week. but if you're going to let me do that everyday, 5/6 days a week, i think i'll surrender in less than a month.
on another note, i've figured how small singapore is, i never realized the convenience of NEL, it only takes about 15 minutes by train from my work place to either harbourfront or punggol, and travelling across more than half of singapore by car only takes about half an hour. that's of course not taking into consideration the jams and peak hours, i still remember how going to ntu by bus, train and super long queue for bus takes about an hour, when even jogging there will prob only take slightly more than that. so it's not really about the location, but rather the convenience i guess. and i still prefer to be driven than to drive...
yawn.. time for meeting...

while some people are in persistent search for means of making money, i never fail to search for the meaning in life. just a few days ago i had an interesting conversation with one of my colleagues early in the morning before work started. it's a joy seeing her every morning cos she greets everyone with a genuine smile and never fail to offer her help. she told me how fortunate she is to have a very happy and loving family. her mom and husband cooks everyday while she takes care of the washing and cleaning of the house. she also told me how most of her siblings and her have arranged marriages and they are all living harmoniously together. she told me the saddest moment in their family was when her younger brother met in a motorbike accident, was in coma for 13 days and lost his memory for a year, and that how the whole family took turns to take care of him and bring him to see different doctors every single day, and that his girlfriend was by his side all the while. she also told me her son saw the father buy many packets of rice for the bangla workers out of goodwill and was touched by his actions. she doesn't drive a car, doesn't have millions of dollars or live in a mansion, but she can tell others that she is genuinely happy, and i guess that explains why she doesn't have a strand of white hair though she's almost double my age.
i guess happiness is not measured by how much assets you own, but by how satisfied you are.
as much as i look forward to getting my pay at the end of the month, i sigh over the fact how half of it will be gone after distributing it for the past and the future, when i should be thankful for a stable job with regular hours. and while i drool over luxury items online everyday and thinking of what to wear the next day or where to go shopping, i should be glad to have a roof over my head and not having to worry there's no next meal. and as i scratch my head over what hairstyle to cut and whether or not to colour my hair, i should enjoy my youth before i find my first strand of white hair!

it's been a crazily busy week, working past midnights with my peanuts-earning part-time job, giving presentations to 'aunties', fetching dad from airport at midnight, and now i'm still in office wasting my fast-depleting youth. seriously don't see the point in working on saturday when i spend half an hour travelling, half an hour locked outside the office, an hour or two surfing the net and acting busy, then another hour or two sitting in the meeting and trying hard not to fall asleep.
But at least the weekend is here so i shall not complain...

黄昏过后暖暖的晚风中
在小公园里头
眼眶红了
看老公公和老婆婆在散步着
把手牢牢握着
星星亮了我觉得幸福就是这样的
几十年后你也变老公公
我当你的拐杖扶着你走
眼睛花了
你老花眼镜就是我
把时间忘了慢慢走
美丽风景我为你转播不让你错过
能和你牵手
我是幸福的
你就像温柔又顽固的石头
用心盖了座最美的城堡叫永久
圈住我不管过再久也会幸福的
我们都走过了动摇的时候
爱已变成树就算是有风会平息的
被懂我的人爱着
我是幸福的
连沉默都能是交流
你总是能给我比我想的还要多
我爱你不做你的公主要做你的快乐

for you are more precious than any jewel i can ever ask for...

沒那麼簡單 就能找到 聊得來的伴
尤其是在 看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安 只好強悍
誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單 就能去愛 別的全不看
變得實際 也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單 一久也習慣
不用擔心誰 也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話 隨便聽一聽 自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上 關上了手機 舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經

perhaps there should be a thursday the 13th day. never had a day when everything can go wrong. started with meeting that was more like aunties and uncles arguing in the marketplace. then the plan for going out for lunch was ruined by 2 women, then got called into the meeting just as i was about to get out of office, and tried so hard not to let my eyeballs roll. then it had to rain that few seconds i was walking to the busstop, and it was sunny again the moment i got into the train. then after walking 1 round round jp, i found the atm which could only withdraw a minimum of 200 bucks. wth!! that were just some of my unpleasant encounters for the day. and when i thought perhaps koi can sweeten up my day, literally, it was closed! at 9.20pm. (why do all websites and reviews say they close at 10 or 10.30??) today is just not my day.
but thanks for being with me :) TGIF!

following the heated discussion of tcm in singapore, i am laughing at the irony of how the term 'tcm specialist' was first used at one of CH's clinic and that CH is the direct associate of the practitioners board, are they trying to stab themselves?
well, i shall not mention too many names, but i don't see the problem calling oneself a 'specialist' if they do have a vast interest in that area and are good at it. afterall, 'specialist' can be defined as a Medical practitioner who devotes attention to a particular class of diseases, patients, etc. so after all these disagreement, i think the centre of the problem lies in $$$.
we definitely need money to survive in this world, and in fact we are needing more and more with the growing economy, and there are so many people out that concerned about making money. from a patient's point of view, i will be willing to pay more to see a physician more experienced in the area i need help in. at the end of the day, it's health vs. wealth.
just like how sgp rejoices as economic growth in double digits when we're ranked no 2 in terms of income gap in developed countries, is it really worth a celebration? and when the whole continent fears of H1N1 and other infectious diseases, there are people happily counting money made from it.
are we focusing too much on making a fortune that we lose the human touch in us? how many times do we actually do something genuinely out of kindness, without the thought of money in our mind? and how many times do we think about what others are going through, or what others may feel before losing our temper at them?
sometimes i just wish i can deal with machines...

it's time of the year again to reflect on the past and make new resolutions.
looking back on last year's new year post, i'm glad to say i've achieved what i set out to do for 2010. i've passed my grad exam, got my license and finally ended my life as a student. i've visited Harbin, Tibet and took that step for free fall. 2010 has been a fruitful one, in terms of studies, career, love and life.
and so now for 2011, i will continue working, stay in the company for another 2 years at least, spend less on unnecessary things and save some money, i will learn scuba diving, complete an ultra-marathon (and perhaps be done with running for the time being). i want to travel, though i haven't got any specific destination in mind. and my new year resolution? to love myself and those who love me more =)
happy 2011!!
(and perhaps i shall make it a point to update this blog more often. it's more than 7 years old already btw!!)

after one month of work, this is what i'm doing when my bosses are away early in the morning...

它曾带来多少惊喜和欢笑，多少感动的泪水和幸福的滋味。人们偏爱它那脆弱的肢体，淡淡的芳香及那短暂的生命。那是因为人们看到的只是它那美丽的面孔，而看不见背后被人们残酷折磨的疤痕。当光辉的时刻一过，它的遭遇，最终的下场又有谁关心呢？它流的泪，掉的瓣又有谁希罕呢？
我愿留下其中的精髓，在阳光中绽放璀璨的光辉，在黑暗中带给我坚强的依偎，因为在我心中已是永恒的美。

fears. i used to hide from them, ignore them, but speaking from experience of a bungee jump, now i've realised the best way to overcome them is to face them.
i've never failed to amuse myself at how i've changed over the years. once upon a time i was that very shy and quiet girl in class who rarely spoke a word, then i was that rebellious girl who hung out at shopping malls after school, eating fast food and bubble tea. and from an exercise freak to a total slacker. now i actually enjoy listening to newsradio on my way to work, prefers heels over flats (though slippers still win if i had a choice) and apply at least 5 different skincare products before going to sleep, oh yes, life as an adult, a vain one.

one week into stepping into the dark side, so far so good. In fact, I'm pretty much enjoying what I'm doing now, maybe only because the stress and workload have yet to set in. What's there to complain my workplace is just half an hour busride from home and 2 young and bubbly colleagues who look forward to lunch as much as I do; when I'm setting my own deadline, planning what I should do for the day, going visiting with my bosses, and reading magazines, newspapers, watching tv and going shopping is part of my job! I sure am glad I'm given so much freedom and say.
I think the amount I've learnt about the real world, about business, about putting the knowledge acquired in school in just 1 week is over-powering. Maybe that explains the headache that won't go away. But well, work is still work, I'm sure one day I'll start complaining about it.
Busy but fulfilling week, and being offered gatorade by the helpers at solomon run at mac this morning, cab driver stopping to allow me to jay-run across pie exit, the beautiful morning sun which gave me a bit of tan, and the cooling afternoon rain, and with the bouquet of roses sitting on my table, love is in the air...

well, well, so much of saying i'll never touch tcm again, here i am flipping my textbooks (they're still so new and in good shape!) and reading and searching for research papers. Scratching my head trying to recall HPLC, titration, making agar etc etc...
that's life, not that i'm complaining.

Just as how things tumble with one small push, it only takes a pair of hands to build it up again. It has only been slightly less than a month since the end of my last exams (i hope), but it seemed like a long time. Well, it was a good month, much better than cramping endless loads of tcm knowledge into my limited brains, it gave me the luxury of waking up without the help of an alarm clock, walk down the streets and malls without the guilt of not spending the time to memorize more notes. Most importantly, it gave me time to make decisions. I think the biggest decisions I've made so far were related to education, like choosing which JC and course in uni. Now, it's a new phase of life, I hope I've made wise decisions.
知足常乐, seriously, what more do I want