you're a mystery yourself

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

11:21 PM

prelude..

叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀是落在天上的叶子
天堂原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
爱情原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭旅行(到处)走走停停
也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

就这样，背着背包，带着勇气，以及一颗兴奋的心，踏上了这个远离喧哗的城市，到了国际边界，上山下地的旅程。
在短短的一周内经历了春夏秋冬，在平静之中度过了国庆与中秋；看到了壮观的大自然，独特的民俗；感受到了无境界的友情与爱

&the beauty.

10:47 PM

lost. not knowing where i'm from, where i'm heading towards..
going on a trip to forbidden land, not knowing whether i will make it back in one piece. till then, happy holidays!

&the beauty.

10:36 PM

i shall stop complaining life is boring, before it gets too much for me to handle. the past few days have been full of news about makes and breaks, lives and deaths.
on monday, a patient had a fall in the toilet, injured her head, had 4 stitches, went for a ct, almost couldn't make it out of the radiology department as the intracranial pressure was too high due to cerebral hemorrhage caused by the fall, causing her to seize every half an hour. forgetting to add that she has aplastic anemia with low platelet counts and one of our teacher's mother-in-law. her condition's quite critical and unstable now, i hope she'll be fine.
today, i watched a 83 year-old man die. he was unconscious in the morning, and doctors were trying to keep him alive the whole day while waiting for his sons to arrive. all i could do was to watch. watch his bp drop to almost negligible, watch his pupils dilate, watch doctors do cpr, watch nurses inject adrenaline, dopamine etc to keep his heart beating, watch his heartrate fall to zero, and finally, watch him being covered by the white sheets. he was diagnosed with lymphoma 7 years ago, escaped death when the tumor grew so big it obstructed his airway, he made it through chemotherapy at that old age. he was a fighter. his death was not unexpected, but it certainly wasn't a nice way to end the day touching his icy cold hand and watching the line go flat.
that's life..

&the beauty.

8:27 PM

the problem with doctors when they are too specialised is that they will consider whatever signs and symptoms the patients present them falls under their specialty. i'm not doubting their expertise nor saying it's bad to do tests and get a thorough checkup, but is it really necessary? out of respect and to not make my life miserable, i managed to voice out my opinion in a very nice tone, i hope.
no wonder they say ignorance is bliss. would you rather get checked from top to toe, knowing every minor defect your body has, taking different drugs or herbs prescribed by doctors from every department for preventive or treatment purposes, restricting your diet and levels of activity? or would you rather live the way you want, enjoying good food and your favorite activity? i definitely choose the latter. because for every department i go, i seem to learn that something is wrong with me medically.
so western medicine or tcm? i choose nature. seriously, i think i make a better patient than being a doctor.

meanwhile, celebrating national day at the embassy was quite fun. first time getting a nday goodie bag (DHL-ed from SGP). and not surprisingly, i was more interesting in the buffet spread than the ceremony

&the beauty.

10:30 PM

3 weeks into final year and 2 weeks of clinicals, so far so good. i was initially a bit disappointed to start off with dermatology, one of my least favorite, but it wasn't too bad at all, in fact, anything beats dozing off in class, doing last minute revision for the endless exams. but i guess it won't be long before i complain of a 8 - 5 life in white coat and stethoscope, so that means no more shopping! and tgif means time to let down your hair (literally), no need to sleep early, find somewhere to chill, to eat, or just stay at home, do housework or just slack around before the whole cycle begins again. can't believe i went to the museum last weekend and really fell asleep while waiting, and while watching a 10 min video. that's museum for me. though i must say the museum is very new, with many exhibits on display, it's foc, but not easy to find the place. i think next time i'd rather rot at home than rot there. haha

&the beauty.

10:57 PM

now when everybody has graduated and started working etc, i'm finally into my final year as an undergrad, realising that my 'golden week' holiday in October has been gobbled up. seems like it's always better not to have your hopes too high..
the last day of year 4 was celebrated with our first movie in the cinema here. finally caught transformers. not bad. and it certainly felt good to be a student with half price for movie tix instead of the ridiculously overpriced 70 yuan (that's like SGD15). that was just the start of the longest day.. a quick dinner followed and then shopping till the mall closed.
the night was still young and that was just the start. without even a chance to hit the pillow, we bathed, packed and headed down to the train station to catch the 2.30am train to 秦皇岛, in search for the smell of the sea. instead, we returned with unexpected and unplanned adventure.
bad weather, no cheap for accommodation cos we were foreigners, not-very-friendly tour guide, but a rather unforgettable experience.

highlight of the trip. loved the boat ride.

the great wall on water. not in our planned itinerary, nor in our research, but great place with fantastic scenery (less the foggy weather)

sitting on the wall wearing a hat weaved from leaves which i found on the ground.

&the beauty.

7:14 PM

fear is what keeps me going,
memories keep me dreaming,
reality wakes me up
and hope is why i'm still living..

till the day when reality strikes,
when hope is gone,
when i have no more fear,
when i'm just part of the memories..

&the beauty.