while some people are in persistent search for means of making money, i never fail to search for the meaning in life. just a few days ago i had an interesting conversation with one of my colleagues early in the morning before work started. it's a joy seeing her every morning cos she greets everyone with a genuine smile and never fail to offer her help. she told me how fortunate she is to have a very happy and loving family. her mom and husband cooks everyday while she takes care of the washing and cleaning of the house. she also told me how most of her siblings and her have arranged marriages and they are all living harmoniously together. she told me the saddest moment in their family was when her younger brother met in a motorbike accident, was in coma for 13 days and lost his memory for a year, and that how the whole family took turns to take care of him and bring him to see different doctors every single day, and that his girlfriend was by his side all the while. she also told me her son saw the father buy many packets of rice for the bangla workers out of goodwill and was touched by his actions. she doesn't drive a car, doesn't have millions of dollars or live in a mansion, but she can tell others that she is genuinely happy, and i guess that explains why she doesn't have a strand of white hair though she's almost double my age.
i guess happiness is not measured by how much assets you own, but by how satisfied you are.
as much as i look forward to getting my pay at the end of the month, i sigh over the fact how half of it will be gone after distributing it for the past and the future, when i should be thankful for a stable job with regular hours. and while i drool over luxury items online everyday and thinking of what to wear the next day or where to go shopping, i should be glad to have a roof over my head and not having to worry there's no next meal. and as i scratch my head over what hairstyle to cut and whether or not to colour my hair, i should enjoy my youth before i find my first strand of white hair!

it's been a crazily busy week, working past midnights with my peanuts-earning part-time job, giving presentations to 'aunties', fetching dad from airport at midnight, and now i'm still in office wasting my fast-depleting youth. seriously don't see the point in working on saturday when i spend half an hour travelling, half an hour locked outside the office, an hour or two surfing the net and acting busy, then another hour or two sitting in the meeting and trying hard not to fall asleep.
But at least the weekend is here so i shall not complain...

黄昏过后暖暖的晚风中
在小公园里头
眼眶红了
看老公公和老婆婆在散步着
把手牢牢握着
星星亮了我觉得幸福就是这样的
几十年后你也变老公公
我当你的拐杖扶着你走
眼睛花了
你老花眼镜就是我
把时间忘了慢慢走
美丽风景我为你转播不让你错过
能和你牵手
我是幸福的
你就像温柔又顽固的石头
用心盖了座最美的城堡叫永久
圈住我不管过再久也会幸福的
我们都走过了动摇的时候
爱已变成树就算是有风会平息的
被懂我的人爱着
我是幸福的
连沉默都能是交流
你总是能给我比我想的还要多
我爱你不做你的公主要做你的快乐

for you are more precious than any jewel i can ever ask for...

沒那麼簡單 就能找到 聊得來的伴
尤其是在 看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安 只好強悍
誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單 就能去愛 別的全不看
變得實際 也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單 一久也習慣
不用擔心誰 也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話 隨便聽一聽 自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上 關上了手機 舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經

perhaps there should be a thursday the 13th day. never had a day when everything can go wrong. started with meeting that was more like aunties and uncles arguing in the marketplace. then the plan for going out for lunch was ruined by 2 women, then got called into the meeting just as i was about to get out of office, and tried so hard not to let my eyeballs roll. then it had to rain that few seconds i was walking to the busstop, and it was sunny again the moment i got into the train. then after walking 1 round round jp, i found the atm which could only withdraw a minimum of 200 bucks. wth!! that were just some of my unpleasant encounters for the day. and when i thought perhaps koi can sweeten up my day, literally, it was closed! at 9.20pm. (why do all websites and reviews say they close at 10 or 10.30??) today is just not my day.
but thanks for being with me :) TGIF!

following the heated discussion of tcm in singapore, i am laughing at the irony of how the term 'tcm specialist' was first used at one of CH's clinic and that CH is the direct associate of the practitioners board, are they trying to stab themselves?
well, i shall not mention too many names, but i don't see the problem calling oneself a 'specialist' if they do have a vast interest in that area and are good at it. afterall, 'specialist' can be defined as a Medical practitioner who devotes attention to a particular class of diseases, patients, etc. so after all these disagreement, i think the centre of the problem lies in $$$.
we definitely need money to survive in this world, and in fact we are needing more and more with the growing economy, and there are so many people out that concerned about making money. from a patient's point of view, i will be willing to pay more to see a physician more experienced in the area i need help in. at the end of the day, it's health vs. wealth.
just like how sgp rejoices as economic growth in double digits when we're ranked no 2 in terms of income gap in developed countries, is it really worth a celebration? and when the whole continent fears of H1N1 and other infectious diseases, there are people happily counting money made from it.
are we focusing too much on making a fortune that we lose the human touch in us? how many times do we actually do something genuinely out of kindness, without the thought of money in our mind? and how many times do we think about what others are going through, or what others may feel before losing our temper at them?
sometimes i just wish i can deal with machines...

it's time of the year again to reflect on the past and make new resolutions.
looking back on last year's new year post, i'm glad to say i've achieved what i set out to do for 2010. i've passed my grad exam, got my license and finally ended my life as a student. i've visited Harbin, Tibet and took that step for free fall. 2010 has been a fruitful one, in terms of studies, career, love and life.
and so now for 2011, i will continue working, stay in the company for another 2 years at least, spend less on unnecessary things and save some money, i will learn scuba diving, complete an ultra-marathon (and perhaps be done with running for the time being). i want to travel, though i haven't got any specific destination in mind. and my new year resolution? to love myself and those who love me more =)
happy 2011!!
(and perhaps i shall make it a point to update this blog more often. it's more than 7 years old already btw!!)