taking a breather, taking a break, i finally found myself out of this constrained little city. The one-day Batam retreat simply put, was a shopping madness adventure.
Left home early in the morning to catch the 8am ferry to Batam, where the shopaholic was about to start on her mission. Did some typical touristy stuff, like visit touristy shops where things were going for so expensive, had quite a sumptuous seafood lunch followed by a cultural performance. It was short, but good. What's more interesting is the shocked expressions on some of our faces, watching in disbelief how they could eat burning charcoal, and munch on glasss as if it was a cookie.
And then came one whole afternoon of shopping. Quite a fruitful one. Went back with bags and bags worth of goodies. Well, the best part is not having to spend my own money. I think that's the only good thing about shopping with moms. mobile atm.
I remember the last time I went batam was when i was in primany school. Maybe it's because we visited a different part of the island this time, but the feeling is totally different.









we were tourists at the shopping mall











hmmmmm... yummy yummy

so much of the retreat, I still have to come back to reality.. sigh... can't wait to my holidays..

staying on the 25th floor gave me the privilege of a nice scenic view.











now this is what happens when the haze came... and that was on a psi moderate day..
sad isn't it?
It has been a hardworking weekend for me, not in terms of studying, but working. 6 hours on friday, 7 hours on saturday and 5 hours on sunday. Not that i'm complaining when I do make money from working. In fact, I had a real sunday yesterday. Went jogging and paddling in the morning, went home, bathe, eat, sleep, go for work. Isn't that how sunday is suppose to be like?

And there was yet another case of suicide by jumping down the MRT platform. Has it really become the coolest way to die? Or do these people just want to make their death so widely publicized? Reading the report on the guy's family is really saddening. Living in this generally affluent society, it is hard to imagine there are still people so poor they have no money for transport to claim the bodies of their family member. Although I do take pity on the family, I still think it was very irresponsible and selfish of him. So many people had to be affected just because of his one moment of "courage" or stupidity, there are so many ways to die a impactful death, why must one choose the disruptive way?
Ok, I do admit that the thought of committing suicide ever crossed my mind, but I would never do that, because I don't have the courage to. I don't have the courage to forgo the future that may be so beautiful; I don't have the courage to take that step and torture myself; but most importantly, I don't have the courage to let my loved ones suffer because of me. Ok, I think I still love myself to a certain extent...

Sports appreciation night followed by a sumptuous dinner today. I think the highlight remains in the food. A wide spread of meat and pastries, salad and they even had a chocolate fondue. Ok, I think that's not the main point of the whole event. Certificates were given out, videos and speeches were given. Speaking on the topic of sports, I'm starting to wonder what's the definition of sport. This is what is given by wikipedia: A sport is an activity requiring physical ability, physical fitness or physical skill which usually, but not always, involves competition between two or more people.
Seems like sports is getting more and more political. Sports is no longer a mere physical activity which one can enjoy, it has everything to do with money, funding, elitism, and all those illegal and ugly means of pushing performance to a higher level. I do agree that it is competition that motivates people to aim for a greater height and to challenge what was thought to be the impossible, but what about more important aspects in sports such as sportsmanship? if SPIRIT represents Sportsmanship, Perserverance, Integrity, Respect, I(i forgot this) and Teamwork, I think sports is gradually losing this spirit. Sad isn't it?
Ok that was food for thought, it's 3am, time to sleep...

one night of running and a whole week to recover. gosh, facts have proven that my body is certainly aging. Today I finally put on my running shoes, overcame the power of inertia and went out for a run despite the bad weather. It felt good to get moving again, 3 days of not running and i'm starting to feel the withdrawal symptoms. Try running, it's the best way to destress, healthiest way also, as compared to eating.









That's us after the run. See the shagged faces?
I seriously need an external hard drive to keep all the photos, and ink cartridges are not cheap at all, especially when your dad printed a million of photos using the printer and when it finally runs out of ink, he happily says "orh go buy it yourself lor" maybe i should print notes in shcool instead.
Running makes you tired.. think I should sleep soon...

Am I not suppose to use the word, since it will be against my future job scope? But that is how I feel. Died. Yes, everything in me has died. The passion, the believe I used to hold so strongly, the determination and focus, everything.
I want to escape from reality again and go back to the good old times. The times when I could excel in what I loved to do, when I had more self-control and motivation, the times of innocent and sweet love.
Ok, it's just me getting into my depressed self again. It's the time of the year... haha. Sorry if I am not behaving like myself or neglecting people around me. Feels like I just want to spend time by myself, reflecting upon the things that happened and I have done.
我真的想回到过去，过着那单纯的生活，我讨厌镜子里的自己，我向往以前的我。但我也知道这一切是不可能的了，过去的美好时光，如今已是只能回味的往事。我害怕找不回那种感觉，害怕失去你。。。

Am I not suppose to use the word, since it will be against my future job scope? But that is how I feel. Died. Yes, everything in me has died. The passion, the believe I used to hold so strongly, the determination and focus, everything.
I want to escape from reality again and go back to the good old times. The times when I could excel in what I loved to do, when I had more self-control and motivation, the times of innocent and sweet love.
Ok, it's just me getting into my depressed self again. It's the time of the year... haha. Sorry if I am not behaving like myself or neglecting people around me. Feels like I just want to spend time by myself, reflecting upon the things that happened and I have done.
我真的想回到过去，过着那单纯的生活，我讨厌镜子里的自己，我向往以前的我。但我也知道这一切是不可能的了，过去的美好时光，如今已是只能回味的往事。我害怕找不回那种感觉，害怕失去你。。。

running 2.4km sounded easy. 1 hour rest time sounded like a lot. but when you put them together in a duration of 12 hours, you get 9 x 2.4 which is more than 20km and almost no sleep at all. i am still appalled by the fact that we actually did 2.4km intervals through the night. it is certainly one of the crazy things i did this year. from the initial energized and enthusiastic runs, or rather sprints, to the gradually slower runs and the reluctant departure from the comfortable sleeping position, which is none other than lying on the ground outside the rooms so unglamorously, and finally the last few rounds which was almost impossible to carry ourselves up the slope. but i must say it was certainly an experience of a lifetime. although we missed the chance of getting the prize money, it was an excellent training for standard chartered marathon and a night to remember. my legs are aching now..

and so I did, one whole afternoon at lwn, indulging in the best things in life - books and notes. What a torture to look at pages of "ants" sprawled all over the paper and trying to memorize phrases and sentences which totally makes no sense in today's context. I think the headache from trying to memorize is much worse than the haze outside. I think my memory is certainly failing me, so much of not using them.. serves me right
alrights, something interesting stuff for the day..










see the thing picked up using chopstick? it's a worm found in Can A ban mian. So next time look before you eat if you don't want added protein..

it has been more than 2 months since i last blogged and now i'm counting down to the days of exam and holidays. As for now, I must heave a sigh of relief that BMS203 is over and both my lab report and assignment have been handed in. So for now my only worries would be exam, yes very big worries. Even with the pressure of the warning letter and the almost impossible GPA to meet, I have no motivation to study at all. I know I should stop complaining since it was my choice to take up this course, but I absolutely abhor BMS202! Worse subject that I've ever seen!! Alright enough, start memorizing and stop whining!
On a lighter note first, this year I had the best birthday surprise ever. On the actual day of me entering my 20s, my mummy gave me a huge box of rocher and my dear little sister also gave me chocolate and played me a birthday song. I was almost melted by her sweetness. Ok sis, I shall be nice to you for the time being until you start being your usual demanding self again. But nothing beats THE SURPRISE you planned for me after sava first day. I really jumped and screamed in shock when I opened the door walked in and heard a "SURPRISE!!" from the goup of crazy friends. It left me in shock for the rest of the night. But it was soooo sweet of you!! I feel so blessed and loved!!! muackz... haha ok, I'm so guilible, easily pleased and innocent, right?

Well, of course there was sava sprint. Cannot say that it was the best of our dragonboat races, due to the lack of trainings and to a certain extent our complacency, but I must say it was vertainly an eye-opener to see the Philippines team race. Their frequency was madness!! wonder where they get all the energy from. And I won my second medal as the drummer. The aggression was more than anything. With every determination to pull away, to win, be it for the school, for themselves, for havaianas, or whatever reason. It was sure inspiring to be on the boat, seeing the guys grit their teeth and plunge their paddles into the water, tensing up every muscle and pulling the water hard, screaming, shouting and finally pulling away from the boat that was thought to be impossible to beat, but they did it. The sense of achievemnt, knowing that they had done it, written on their faces after crossing the finishing line was unmistakable. I think i will let the feeling stay there, paused. It sure is exciting to see your team win a race, but the feeling of watching and actually rowing and earning it is definitely different. No havaianas for us, but somethings gained which cannot be bought.

Alright, end of season, time to study. Help!! I need the motivation, I need the strength..
I'm scared..