the weather is crazy.. it was pouring in the bright sunlight just now and the wind was damn strong that it slammed the door and blew everything off my table. that lasted for 10 minutes and now it's bloody hot again. But at least I'm getting a nice tan, erm, take back the word nice, more like i'm getting a jersey tan.
yesterday was such a busy day, running around island. First I went to school to get my matric card replaced, then met my dad at westmall to get my new phone, and because I don't have my ic the phone is still under his name, which means he's going to pay for the bill for one more month. Then I went to lavender to get my ic. Seems like losing your ic is a very serious business. They made me do a write up on how my ic was lost and conducted an "interview". But the lady was really nice and although there's no such thing as great singapore sale at ICA, I got a discount for replacing my ic. With everything almost done, I headed down to town to get my atm card and of course, shopping. There goes my money saved from the discount. Met up with the programmers for dinner and yes, I caught harry potter after all. Well, not much comments about the movie since I am no harry potter fan and didn't fully understand the plot cos I didn't read the books.
I'm in love with my new phone. The pink one was so pretty but no I got the blue one instead.

the handphone chain is so bimbotic and it's a mirror on the other side, but i love it
















I think this is rather freaky....
I think I'm in love with blue

I'm fucking pissed with whoever that bastard with no integrity and no moral values to resort to stealing to satisfy his or her own desires. Well, more like I'm disappointed with the fact that there's this kind of people around and if the person is a canoest, I really have nothing else to say other than "you are such a disgrace". If you want the money, take it and leave everything else behind. Well, I hope I've terminated my phone and all my atm cards fast enough so you can't use any shit that's inside. Anyway it's time to get a new phone and all I can say is sorry dad, you can't have a phone with camera and radio cos a fucker has taken it. Alright, at least I've got a programme for monday. Go get my ic, matric card, atm card, gym card, ez link card replaced and go get a new phone. Well, looking on the brighter side, I can change the my ic photo (at a cost of 100 bucks) and a new phone. Maybe I should be glad that I have spent about 100 bucks these few days if not the fucking thief would have more money. But I love my wallet and I need my phone contact list cos the ever-so-forgetful-me only remembers 2 numbers: my home phone and my handphone. Nothing else.
Alright, at least I've satisfied my taste buds with chomp chomp's stingray and all the other spicy and yummy seafood. Can't believe I actually finished one gigantic mug of sugar cane while sitting there for 4 hours indulging in all yummilicious but fattening delicacies. I love spicy food. yum yum thinking of it makes me drool.
feeling lost and detached from the world now. a symptom of handphone-overdependence i guess...

It has been a long time since I last felt this satisfied with myself. It sure is great to cancel out things on my to-do list and I just cancelled 2 of them yesterday. Despite the rain that dampened the whole atmosphere and my mood for going out, I still carried my umbrella and walked happily out of the house. After a long bus ride, I finally arrived at HSA and excitedly made my way into bloodbank to do my good deed of the day - donate blood. And so now I have 350ml of blood less but feel a much greater sense of satisfaction. Although HSA is far, I prefer it there as compared to other blood drive centres and NUH, the nurses there are so much better and friendlier and they have much better refreshments than just biscuits.
Then was the event of the day - ktv the whole afternoon until 9pm. Certainly worth the money and singing makes you forget about hunger until food reaches your mouth.
The rainy season is here again. It's been raining on and off today and I stayed at home the whole day. Spent most of my time stoning, listening to music, eating, sleeping, reading and yes, doing jigsaw puzzle. Blame it on that ambitious little sister of mine who took my 1000 piece jigsaw. I'll call her a genius if she can finish it by herself.

rain, rain go away... the cold blooded me it wearing jacket and slippers at home and still typing with my icy cold fingers. Blame myself for eating cold yoghurt and watermelon for breakfast, shall warm myself up with a nice hot cup of tea now.
Although I have more free time now since the bulk of the papers are over, it seems like I've been blogging less mainly because most of my time are not spent at home or in hall where I have nothing to do but face the computer. Just 3 words to summarise what I've been doing these few days: train, work, play. Almost perfect way of life if only there's less work, but isn't that the source of income that allows me to shop and play? Don't call me a spendthrift yet until I start on real shopping spree. I love shopping but I don't have all the money in the world. I love food but I can't afford to eat all I want without feeling fat and guilty, and yes, I do love chocolates but I'm trying to resist the temptations so don't tempt me... I love running but I think I should listen to my knees and give them a break. I gave myself a scare yesterday when I accidentally shifted my right patella out of position and back again with just a slight pressure from resting my hand on it while doing the jigsaw puzzle. hate those bones on my knees. I think I have the joints of a fifty-year-old and I want a massage or accupuncture. I can't imagine how bad things will be when I'm old. It's less than 2 weeks away from marathon, I think I will rest for the last week and hope I can finish it, it's all in the mind...
The rain has stopped and I shall prepare to get out of the house. I've been going out everyday. Feels good...

Can't get myself out of this holiday mood when the fact is that I have one more paper to go. This is life. Seems like my holidays are going to be busy and I'm far from jobless now. Well, at least it will keep me busy and not waking up every morning not knowing what to do for the rest of the day.
Things that I want:
- a 5000 piece jigsaw to keep me occupied
- get an ear piercing
- get a new phone
- enjoy every moment

Never knew sleeping felt so good. 7 long hours of uninterrupted and stress-less sleep. Yes, 7 is considered long after being only able to sleep on an average of 3 hours per night. And so I woke up at 6am with my usual alarm clock and waited eagerly for there to be a bit of light so that I can go for my morning run round the campus. Then I decided to be a housewife and cleaned up my dirty and messy room. I can't say it's the cleanest room you can find but I definitely tried to clean up at least ninety percent of the dirt and hair and eraser dust. shh.. but I think the total number of times I mopped the floor can be counted with fingers on one hand..
Alright, I know I'm just trying to escape from reality and indulging in a transient moment of freedom and happiness. But let me be.. afterall, there's nothing I can do now except accept the fact that it's already over and what is done is done, or rather, what has not been done will never be done. Now I'm already starting to "mug" for my last paper by listening to songs and singing. Next "mass studying" session will be held at ktv.
Spent my afternoon stoning and sleeping at home. And don't try to persuade me to go to work when I'm suppose to be relaxing. If you're really that great, why doesn't anyone want to work for you? It's not a matter of IQ, it's a matter of EQ and I think you've failed in that aspect

My long awaited break is finally here.. went to watch sky high just now and it was certainly a good way to destress after so many torturous days. Now I'm back in hall and there's only 1 word to describe my feelings now. Tired.
This room is in a complete mess. I'm going to do spring cleaning tomorrow and leave it empty for a week.
I need sleep. good night

I suddenly have the urge to run out of the room now and get myself totally drenched in the pouring rain. Organic chem was not easy, and now it's even harder. What to do when your mind gets into a complete blank and I think even an open book test for this won't help much. But I'm not feeling the kind of shittiness, perhaps I'm just too tired to care. I want a break, I need a break. And now I'm trying to squeeze all the anatomy and physiology stuff into my congested brain. I think I need to dig out the unimportant stuff there to allow more space for useful ones. I think I've really learnt my lesson of leaving everything to the last minute. But I say and swear that I'll start revision early after every exam, but it never happened.
As I read and try my best to understand the notes, I'm still trying to figure out what is wrong with my stupid knees, which part exactly does the problem lie. I've been living with it since I knew the feeling of pain but still can't find the answer to solve it. It's only 3 more weeks to marathon and I want to complete it and still be able to walk after that.
Sigh.. back to the notes. Looking forward to tomorrow when I can finally take a short break. I desperately need to catch up on my sleep. I feel like a panda now.

My cosy little room at home is certainly not a good place to mug, especially when I could just swirl the chair around and jump onto my bed. I fell asleep so many times that my mind is almost in a complete blank. Help!!
Stupid knees are giving me problems again. argh

I was so tired when I got home from work yesterday after 10 hours non-stop of work. I can't remember what I did when I got home, but I think I tried to mug because I woke up at 5 plus this morning to find the lights still on and my favourite highlighter has dried up. I'm actually surprised that I woke up finding myself on the bed instead of sitting in the chair and getting a sore neck.
Well, one hilarious encounter during work:
Someone picked up a wallet that someone else has dropped and passed it to us at the counter, so we opened the wallet to see whose is it. It happen to belong to the girl who just went into the consultation room, so we waited for her and her mom to come out then passed it to her. After dispensing the medicine and passing her her mc...
the mother said the sentence of the day: don't lose you mc ar, keep it in your wallet."
you should have seen us burst into laughter after they left.

All the best to the canoeists who have embarked on their journey this morning. I'll glue my eye to the television and hoping for the good news. Yes it used to be our dream, remember the trainings we went through, the dreams we shared, and the times we had. That's all part of the beautiful memories now. I know you're enjoying yourself there, training like nobody's business for your new passion and I am here living a normal life and being tortured by the unsympathetic examination. But I gave up on it myself, do I regret? not really, I just didn't want to continue anymore. I wanted it to end, to leave only the pleasant recollections, but I don't think it's going to end so soon. Oh well, I really wish them the best of luck and I'm proud of them.
The noise from downstairs is certainly disturbing!!! Not that I'm blaming the Deepavali celebration, it's just that why can't all the performers sing in tune. They certaily sound horrible and now the emcee is laughing like a chicken. Can't they be more considerate??
Alright, I admit I'm easily irritated..

I'm halfway there, halfway to go. Please let this end as soon as possible. I don't like the feeling of forcing myself in that tiny little room, trying to force everything into that puny little brain of mine. I love uni life, just not the studying part. Perserverance.. and I will make it..
Back at home now and just realised that naughty little sis of mine is a complain queen. She's extremely proud of the fact that she had complained to her teacher that her friend didn't want to friend her anymore. Seems like the phrase "I don't friend you already" is still in existance and still as widely used.
I should be mugging now.. shoo

The hardest battle is the battle against yourself. And today I've fought this battle again and waiting for the results. Well, you can say it started with the shitty 104 paper, but seriously I think it's quite alright if I had studied harder for it and understood the concepts. I didn't, so that's why I'm here writing all these words of regrets and getting myself into this damn mood again.
I used to take exams so lightly because I know it is not going to affect anything. All I had to do was to give everything for 'O' and 'A' levels, which I already did and succeeded. But right now I have everything at stake. The consequences of me screwing up this exams, which I think I certainly will, is definitely more than just having to repeat it next sem. Seriously, I don't see anything wrong with having to redo it given the fact that I will have a better grasp of the subject. But no, it's not as simple as that..
Or is it that I'm expecting too much from myself, setting an almost unachievable goal and struggling to find my way there. Struggling very hard. Or maybe it's you that has caused all these pressure. You had always wanted the best to come from me. But I can tell you, sorry I didn't. I didn't get into Harvard, I didn't get the president scholarship, I didn't even get into medicine and I don't think I'm going to get first class honours and I definitely won't become the president of Singapore. I know you were probably joking but the rebellous me wants to prove you wrong. I want to give you the hit in the face and tell you "who says I can't.." Perhaps I don't have the opportunity anymore. So let's just mind our own business and live our own lives. I don't want anything from you and I don't want to depend on you for anything, but what if situations don't allow? I know that you have other things to worry about and I really don't want to become your burden. Alright, enough said, what is done, or rather what has not been done, is all over. In fact, I feel good now after a long walk back to hall from sbs. I love that place, the nice wooden tables and big unbrellas and the breeze. Not forgetting the wonderful salad at the cafe which never failed to make my day.
It's ironic how I had more msn windows popping up when I said leave me alone. haha, and I'm actually quite amused by it. And I really hope you can just leave me alone and don't irritate me especially when I'm not in the mood.
And I always look forward to weekends, although I know this one's going to be packed with study and work. Should I go training on saturday? Speaking of training, my whole upper body is acheing from weights yesterday and doing stick rotation the day before that. Just goes to show how long have I not utilised my upper body.
It's a month's time away from round ubin race and less than a month away from SC marathon. Gosh, how am I going to finish that with the measly amount of exercise and watching those muscles turn into fats.. help...

2 papers down and I'm counting down and looking forward to the day where I can walk out of the examination hall and say "holidays are here!!" French paper today was alright except for the section where we were asked to write the states in France, countries beside France, French cuisine etc, which I had left half of it blank. I almost burst out laughing at my initial intention of writing french fries as one of the french dishes, since I'm not going to get any marks for that question I might as well write something to make the marker laugh. The essay was quite funny too and the basketball court turned from cold to freezing so I couldn't take it anymore and left the court 20 minutes earlier to buy myself a cup of corns to give me more corny ideas for tomorrow's paper..
I confess I haven't been to the gym for more than 2 weeks and I was full of enthusiasm to have a workout after the paper today, only to find the gym closed due to exams and only opened from 6 to 9 pm. Seems like it's forcing me to go back to my room and mug.
Does fish really make one smarter? Seems like my mom believes in it as she has been cooking fish for me almost everyday last week, why do I not see the effects?

With my backpack and laptop, I am officially back in my cosy little room in pulau ntu. I think my roomie and I really cannot study with each other around, and now she's at home mugging after a one week stay last week while i'm back here. First thing that I did after unloading all my stuff was to sweep the floor. Not that i'm a clean freak, but the floor was too dirty.
Doing French paper in preparation for tomorrow's exam, not that it's easy, but it's definitely less of a torture on the brains.
Seems like I have no choice but work on Saturday... and the tagboard is back just for your info if anyone happens to see this
我依然是你的情人　我依然愛你最深

Finally it's here, the moment which I had been dreading. As I walked past the examination hall in the morning, seeing all the bags placed outside and people sitting for exams gave me a sense of nervousness that I have never felt before, not even for the big 'A's. But as I sat above the exam hall trying to do some last minute revision, the feeling of nervousness has turned into somewhat of an 'excitement' and 'eagerness'. Time seemed to pass so slowly as I couldn't wait for the paper to start and end. And so the time came, and passed, and I have one less paper to go. I will survive...
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I can't wait for it to be over and yet don't want it to come. This feeling is like crap, I've never felt so unprepared for exams before and I don't want this kind of shitty start to uni.. But what can I possibly do in the next 15 hours? burn the books, notes, tutorials and eat up the ashes?
oh crap... always look on the bright sight of life...

477

2 lectures of biostats in a row is bringing me to laalaa land, and don't try to attain some peace by scolding a five-year-old crybaby because it certainly brought adverse effects. I don't expect much from this exam, just can't wait for it to be over when I can regain my freedom and enjoy life. I've given my promise and I won't break it, but what if things are beyond my control?
Alright, better get off the com now and let my lazy dad use it if not he'll be taking a whole-afternoon nap..
addicted to sour plums for the sugar rush and hoping they will keep me awake...
我会学着爱自己，是因为我太爱你...

My brain is saturated with bio stuff after one whole day of bio crash course and my stomach is filled with stingray that I can't function normally now...

I didn't realise that I haven't been to kap for so long until I pushed open the door and say to my surprise, a brand new appearance. The layout and chairs have changed and the sofa-like chairs definitely looked tempting and comfortable. Too bad there wasn't any available ones for me. I contented myself with a small table in a secluded area and proceeded with my mugging. The place was filled with students mugging for 'O's and 'A's that made me feel so old and knowledgable. I remember my last visit to kap was when I was mugging for 'A's, yes, it was exactly a year ago. Although it wasn't the most quiet and condusive environment for studying, at least the temperature was just nice. And thanks for popping by and surprising me with your presence and company, though I must have bored you to death by my desperate attempt to do my last minute revision. It wasn't a bad day, mainly because I didn't touch any bio stuff today. I'll save that for tomorrow...

Just as I turned on tmy laptop and was about to start my day of mugging today, my handphone rang and it says private number calling, so since I didn't want to miss any important calls, I picked up the call and yes, it was my dearest boss "inviting" me to go to work today cos one of the nurses took child mc. After an unsuccessful attempt of trying to persuade him that I desperately need to study, I still had to watch him cut up the gums to dig out the hidden wisdom tooth. Luckily it was a very short operation and I got to go home at lunchtime.
Trying very hard to do a 2 year syllabus in a week. C'est impossible....
Maybe I'm expecting too much....

I tried to go on full-scale mugging today, from school to millenia walk, and I hope I succeeded in looking like a mugger lugging my thick and heavy bio textbook around. In fact, I think I look like an JC2 student mugging for A levels since the textbook is an A level text. But what can you do if the brain's of limited capacity and has already reached saturation. I think I need a miracle...
and fish n co's ice blended drink is humongous, I almost got a fright when the big glass mug was served. But it was nice and never-ending.
I need to hit the gym tomorrow....