lost. not knowing where i'm from, where i'm heading towards..
going on a trip to forbidden land, not knowing whether i will make it back in one piece. till then, happy holidays!

i shall stop complaining life is boring, before it gets too much for me to handle. the past few days have been full of news about makes and breaks, lives and deaths.
on monday, a patient had a fall in the toilet, injured her head, had 4 stitches, went for a ct, almost couldn't make it out of the radiology department as the intracranial pressure was too high due to cerebral hemorrhage caused by the fall, causing her to seize every half an hour. forgetting to add that she has aplastic anemia with low platelet counts and one of our teacher's mother-in-law. her condition's quite critical and unstable now, i hope she'll be fine.
today, i watched a 83 year-old man die. he was unconscious in the morning, and doctors were trying to keep him alive the whole day while waiting for his sons to arrive. all i could do was to watch. watch his bp drop to almost negligible, watch his pupils dilate, watch doctors do cpr, watch nurses inject adrenaline, dopamine etc to keep his heart beating, watch his heartrate fall to zero, and finally, watch him being covered by the white sheets. he was diagnosed with lymphoma 7 years ago, escaped death when the tumor grew so big it obstructed his airway, he made it through chemotherapy at that old age. he was a fighter. his death was not unexpected, but it certainly wasn't a nice way to end the day touching his icy cold hand and watching the line go flat.
that's life..